Hi Peggy... thanks for sending your story. I like you love name!! B3 On Mon 11/23/09 7:21 PM , Peggy Holman pe...@opencirclecompany.com sent: > Barbara and Tonnie, > In response to your question of disasters or situations where we feel > more could have happened, I'm re-sending a story I posted three years > ago that completely changed my Open Space practice. > Ironically, this is the story that launched the shift from defending > space to being co-creative in how I hold it that I discussed in my > last post. > Peggy > On Nov 16, 2009, at 5:56 AM, Barbara Bunker wrote: > > I think that this very interesting conversation is moving from > disasters to > situations where we feel that more could have happened....sometimes > because we > didn't do all that we might have done in the contracting or in the > event itself > or...?????? B3 > > Barbara Bunker > > Begin forwarded message: > FROM: Peggy Holman > DATE: August 23, 2006 9:01:49 PM PDT > TO: > SUBJECT: [OSLIST] BREAKING OPEN (LONG) > REPLY-TO: OSLIST > During the last week of June, I hosted what turned out to be the > most personally challenging work Ive done in a very long time. In > fact, Id say it broke me open, in a difficult but valuable way. > The primary gift was a move from a defensive stand around Open Space > to a co-creative stand. Ill say more about what this means and how > I got there by sharing the story of what it was like to hold space for > Philanthropy, Love, and Evolution (also known as the Philanthropy > Salon). My intent is not so much to share the story of the > conference, but rather, the story of facilitating the conference. To > begin at the beginning the signs that this would be different were > there right from the start. You know that thing about every group > saying, were different?, well, based on my experience, > transformational philanthropy philanthropy intended to make a > substantive difference in how systems (e.g., health care, education, > media, etc.) themselves work really is different! But, that > shall unfold . The idea for the gathering was born in May, 2005, > when Michael Dowd, Tom Atlee, and I hosted the first Evolutionary > Salon. At the end of the gathering, one of our agreements was to > host some strategic conversations, bringing an evolutionary world > view (Ill share some background on this in another posting) to > different high leverage fields. We decided to start with > philanthropists. In September, 2005, we each reached out to people > we knew in the field to ask their counsel on how best to reach this > audience. On a conference call, we were met with enthusiastic > support. People jumped in, saying we should do x, lets try > y in other words rather than telling us what WE needed to do, our > counselors enlisted themselves in the work! Seemed like an > auspicious beginning, as they agreed to become our planning group. > Over the next few weeks, we drafted an invitation and identified the > well-respected, well-networked leaders in the field of > transformational philanthropy. Our planning team thought it looked > great until they realized that the invitations would be coming from > them. Suddenly, it wasnt quite right. We went back to the drawing > board, getting clearer about the purpose of the gathering. We wrote > another invitation and were met with another stepping back. > Hmmm .I wondered, is there a pattern here? On our next call, I > asked about this approach-avoid pattern. I was clear to come from a > place of curiosity and non-attachment. After some self-reflection, > people acknowledged this as a cultural characteristic (understandable > when, as one said, everyone has an opinion on the best way you should > spend your money). Still, it was something of a turning point. The > next version of the invitation took and inviting began in > earnest. It was slow at the beginning, but as it became the place > to be, we ultimately reached the capacity of our facility with just > the sort of mix of folks we had envisioned coming together. As the > date grew closer, I had my second cultural surprise: more > participants contacted me with opinions and requests about how the > gathering should be designed than Ive ever experienced before. In > retrospect, I can describe some of the other cultural characteristics > that I believe were at play. First, most of these folks spend their > professional lives in facilitated conversations. They are VERY > sophisticated about process. And since transformational philanthropy > has something of a spiritual aspect to it, most of them have done deep > personal work. Many were used to processes that took them into > spaces of intimate, collective connection. Some of the participants > I talked with before the gathering were familiar with Open Space, and > didnt think much of it (more on this in another posting). Secondly, > though sophisticated, I found some odd blind spots. My hunch is that > this is a group of people, who are among the powerful that many > have trouble speaking truth to (as in speaking truth to power). I > suspect they may be sheltered from the uncomfortable or the difficult > even if that isnt their preference. Finally, while the facilitator > is ALWAYS in service to the group, most groups unconsciously cede > their power to the facilitator. This is a group that fully > understands that the facilitator serves at their pleasure. Again, > this didnt truly come clear to me until the meeting itself. From > the half-dozen or so conversations I had with participants prior to > the gathering, there were two issues that were most clearly > expressed: the need to go deep and the need for agreements so > that there was a sense of safety for marginalized voices. (Thanks to > one of the planning group, we had a wonderful mix of people of color > and youth present.) As is often the case when working with people > who want to fill the space with planned processes, I was highly > protective of the space. Tom described me as a mama bear. As I > started to appreciate the demands of this group, I was glad to have > some highly skilled partners for the hosting: Thomas Hurley, Juanita > Brown and Tom Atlee. As we began discussing specifics, they made it > clear that they would do their best to support me. Though it was not > the design that they would have used given a clean slate, they were > there to make it work. I made the choice that we would not begin in > Open Space for several reasons: > *Our experiences of the 2nd and 3rd salons made it clear that we > needed to set some context with the evolutionary story. > * There were enough participants that I knew were hostile to Open > Space that I wanted to start with something more familiar to them > (BTW, as I checked into it, several had experienced multiple day OS > gatherings with OS practitioners that I respected, so it wasnt a > case of inexperienced support) > *My hosting partners had gifts to contribute to the mix > * I had sufficient clues to know I was dealing with a culture > that I didnt understand. Since I was working with people who were > familiar with the culture, I knew I needed to trust their counsel. > (The planning stretched us all as we made room for each others very > different beliefs about facilitation.) > > We had the luxury of time - an evening, and 4.5 days. We agreed > that before going into Open Space, we had two pre-requisites: go deep > creating a strong sense of intimacy and community, and ground > people in the evolutionary story (a lesson from the second and third > evolutionary salons) so that when we opened the space, we would go > broad from depth. I was actually quite excited by this, suspecting > that with the diverse mix of people present, that deep connection > would increase the likelihood for breakthrough. On the issue of > agreements, I argued that this would work itself out in the Open > Space, so we didnt take it on directly. The first evening, people > introduced themselves by taking a courageous love name. (This > was inspired by two sources: the etymology of philanthropy loving > humanity (or more loosely, loving service); and something wed done > at Spirited Work one season. Wed chosen warrior names. In the > spirit of a broader understanding of philanthropy, rather than > warrior names, people took a courageous love name. Mine, which I > have used since taking it as my warrior name at Spirited Work, is > Standing Still in the Fire. Little did I know that I would have > quite the opportunity to live into my name! Following this step > into intimacy, what was supposed to be a 60 minute presentation on > evolution by a cosmologist, ran way over. While it contained > beautiful animations of galaxies from the Hubble, there was enough > technical information and it was late enough at night, that it turned > out not to be the inspiring introduction to the story of evolution > that we had expected. (Something that Juanita and Thomas had been > VERY concerned about.) When it was over, I said to Thomas, that > while I knew he would find no satisfaction in it, he had been right > about not doing the presentation in the evening.) Following this > mixed beginning, Juanita, Thomas, Tom, and I met and concluded that > we should re-think our plans for the next day. The location of the > gathering, Gold Lake, is very special land. Traditionally a > gathering place for Native American tribes to put aside their weapons > and meet in peace, this land and its native populations were ravaged > by settlers when gold was found nearby. Its current stewards are > working to honor and restore its special energy to support efforts > that heal and transform the world. We began the first full day by > offering some reflective questions to people and sent them out to > connect with the land and each other, using the questions as they > wished. When they returned, Juanita was to host a World Café > intended to begin connecting philanthropy and evolution. As she > introduced the question for the café, one of the young people, Evon, > a man who had been chief of his Alaskan tribe, spoke. He was > respectful and articulate and named his discomfort with evolution, a > term which wed incorporated into the question being used for the > café. More than this discomfort, he was raising the question of > safe space (remember that pre-conference warning that we needed to > create agreements? I hadnt counted on this being an issue before > the space was opened!). Juanita handled the situation with grace, > ultimately handing the leadership to Evon and a partner with whom he > worked, angel to create safe space. We moved back into a council > circle and they led a circle in which people could say whatever they > felt they needed to say for the space to be open for their voices. > While this was frustrating to those who wanted to get to the content > (and they voiced this), it seemed to accomplish its purpose. When > Juanita, Thomas, Tom and I met after this circle, we agreed it was > time to open the space. One other factor now entered the situation > for me. We were at 8,500 feet of elevation. I discovered that I > couldnt get more than 3 hours of sleep each night. And Im an > 8-hour-a-night kind of person. I was well aware of being far less > centered than I usually am when opening space. Tuesday morning, I > opened the space. Something occurred that has never happened to me > in the 12 years of space holding. The group rebelled. They were > quite adamant that they wanted to stay together until they had a > common grounding in both the state of transformational philanthropy > and an understanding of the evolutionary story. I said that all > they needed to do was post the sessions and it would be clear by how > people negotiated at the agenda wall and how they used their two feet > if they all wanted to stay together. They rejected this; I stepped > back and watched as a debate ensued over whether to do a fish bowl, a > world café, or some other form to handle their desire to stay > together. As I witnessed this, I was mostly marveling over the > passion of this group as it clearly took charge of its needs. After > about 45 minutes, the group fragmented into lots of small > conversations. At that point, I made the one choice that in > retrospect, I see as my attachment to things. It was an impulse > based in my Spirited Work culture I got up, asked for silence, > said Id ring a bell and when they came out of silence, they would > know what to do. When the sound of the bell just ended, one of the > participants, who was sitting directly across from me, looked > straight at me and said they were doing just fine, thank you and that > my ringing of the bell was completely out of order. I felt seared by > his words. I was standing still in the fire and I got cooked. > Shortly after that, another participant said that he thought they > should do what I had suggested post their sessions and see what > people were interested in. And thats what they did. Vindication > of sorts. They did stay as a group for the afternoon, with two > powerful sessions, one on how the field of transformational > philanthropy had evolved, followed by a session that finally provided > some insight into what the evolutionary world view had to offer to > philanthropy. That evening, one of the participants hosted an > extraordinary storytelling session that took people into very > intimate connection with each other. The design was simple: Tell a > story of personal transformation. People had 3-4 minutes for their > stories. A bell was sounded at 3 minutes and again at 4 minutes. > There was a talking object, so whoever wished to speak could do so > when they were ready to tell their story. It took 2 days before most > folks talked to me. I realized that in process work terms, Id > played an important role, making it completely clear who was in > charge - them. I was basically fine with what had taken place, > still, it was definitely took some deep breathing to be at peace with > it all. I spent much of the time over the rest of the gathering > making amends with the people who had called me before the gathering, > letting them know that I realized that I needed to work with them in a > co-creative way rather than simply defending the space. As an > example of what I mean by this, on the last day of the OS, one of the > participants approached me with a common request in multiple day Open > Spaces they wanted people to say more than a title for their > sessions so that they had a better understanding of what the sessions > were about. My traditional stance for this is to encourage them to > talk to the convener to find out more. This time, when we began the > morning postings, I named the request and the tension the more time > describing sessions, the less time to be in them. I said they were > adults and could make their choices knowing this was the tradeoff. I > felt this honored the request and the space. It seemed to work. This > is how I am thinking about what it means to be co-creative: Identify > what, if any, tensions exist between the request and keeping the > space open and then work with the requester to create a response that > respects both. By the end of the conference, a number of the > participants talked about it as a landmark event. When Michael, Tom > and I had discussed our desire for this gathering before it began, > that had been our highest aspiration. No matter how personally > challenging it was, the outcome was all that I could have wanted and > more. Unlike most Open Spaces, I actually wrote a > report:http://www.co-intelligence.org/PhilanthropyES2006.html [4] > Stay tuned for: · The perceptions of Open Space > by some of the folks I met · The evolutionary > world view (as offered in the context of its relationship to > conversation) BTW, one other cultural characteristic of > philanthropists they live their lives as butterflies, holding > many, many private sessions. ________________________________ > Peggy Holman > The Open Circle Company > 15347 SE 49th Place > Bellevue, WA 98006 > (425) 746-6274www.opencirclecompany.com [5] > For pre-orders with a 20% discount on the new edition of The Change > Handbook, go to: > www.bkconnection.com/ChangeHandbook [6] > > "An angel told me that the only way to step into the fire and not > get burnt, is to become > the fire". > -- Drew Dellinger > > * * ========================================================== > ------------------------------ To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your > options, view the archives of : > http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html [9] To learn > about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: > http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist [10] > * * ========================================================== > osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu ------------------------------ To > subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of > osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu: > http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about > OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: > http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist > > Links: > ------ > [4] http://www.co-intelligence.org/PhilanthropyES2006.html > [5] http://www.opencirclecompany.com > [6] http://www.bkconnection.com/ChangeHandbook > [9] http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html > [10] http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist > >
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