Dan  Seems to me the first concern is not so much Âtalking about
Griefwork with clients than knowing that the process of grief is
undoubtedly going on somewhere, if only in the background. IÂve found
that such knowledge makes you much more sensitive to the needs and
opportunities of those you work with. Seems to give you a more fully
rounded picture than the flat single dimension view that a lot of
folks apparently have of their organizations.
Â
Harrison
Â
Winter Address
7808 River Falls Drive
Potomac, MD 20854
301-365-2093
Â
Summer Address
189 Beaucaire Ave.
Camden, ME 04843
207-763-3261
Â
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www.openspaceworld.com <%20www.openspaceworld.com>
www.ho-image.com
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Â
*From:*Daniel Mezick [mailto:[email protected]]
*Sent:* Saturday, April 18, 2015 4:49 PM
*To:* Harrison
*Subject:* Re: [OSList] Grief, Griefwork and Renewal -- The core of
our work, I think
Â
Ha...I love this topic.
...In her book REALITY IS BROKEN, Jane McGonigal enumerates some
"happiness hacks" throughout the text. Interestingly, one of them is
devoting 5 minutes a day to contemplating your own death.
Death. A summary of what she says about it:
"...Think about death for five minutes every day. (Researchers suggest
that we can induce a mellow, grateful physiological state known as
Âposttraumatic bliss that helps us appreciate the present moment
and savor our lives more.)"
So interesting that embracing change (from life to death in this
extreme example) can generate Âposttraumatic blissÂ...aka...joy.
Also interesting: Agile Manifesto:
* "Responding to change over following a plan"
* "...welcome changing [circumstances], even late [in the game.].
Agile processes harness change...
Liking this HO quote:
"...The consultant community (we know who they are) are pretty good at
this, after all they do have to make the sale and pay the rent. "
"There is no waste in nature." -Unknown author
"...everyone gets what they want..." -Ed Seykota
"intentions equal results." -Ed Seykota
Perhaps big huge orgs want to pay lots of money to coaches and
consultants for nothing, just to say they spent the money. Not sure.
Seems about right though...meanwhile, they are dying. And at the same
time, "whistling past the graveyard." Consultants as undertakers?
Maybe....
Last thing: I never, ever mention griefwork when I chat with
executives in the early going. They typically are much more likely to
get it later, after we show them how "it" works, without explaining
why "it" works.
Related link? Well, OK:
http://newtechusa.net/agile/start-with-how/
Daniel
On 4/15/15 11:26 AM, Harrison wrote:
Dan  You are right. DoesnÂt seem to be a forest fire here, but
maybe a small smolder. As for the inability/unwillingness to talk
about Grief Working  nothing new or strange. It has been that
way for my whole professional life, which would take it back to
1960 when I got my first honest job. And I have it on very good
authority that the situation has been pretty constant for the
duration of human history. All that said, I think your
little Âsaying puts it pretty well Â
Â
* Most change creates grief.
* Most learning is change.
* Therefore, most learning creates grief.
Â
My inclination would be to put in more absolute terms, but your
phrasing does pretty good. The bottom line is that Life is Change,
and Change, of whatever sort and no matter how small, involves
an ending. It used to be Âthis way  but now no longer.
ThatÂs over. There is a new way. Ending. New Beginning.
Â
Both change and ending may seem small and inconsequential, but it
is worthwhile remembering that my Âminor change may be your
Âcalamitous disaster. As a senior executive I may find it
necessary for some sort of ÂForce Reduction. From where I sit,
it is a very minor thing, all in a dayÂs work, as they say. But
if you happen to be part of that Force, the picture is rather
different. It could be the end of a dream, a way of life. Serious
indeed.
Â
I guess that is all pretty obvious, but it does make the point, I
think, that every part of an organizations life, as indeed all
of life itself is in constant change. ItÂs all flow. ItÂs all
ending. ItÂs all new beginning. All with the inescapable
corollary: Griefwork is a constant, everyday reality.
Â
Presuming any of this is true, it is also something that we would
rather not talk about. For one thing, there is a lot of pain,
which we would choose to avoid. For another thing, the notion that
somehow we are in control is simply laughable. Sorry about that.
Â
What we wonÂt talk about just gets buried. Unfortunately what is
buried most usually comes to the surface, inevitably at a most
inconvenient time. One of the truly tragic, and funny in a way,
elements of our common human behavior, is the lengths to which we
seem prepared to go in keeping the unspeakable unspoken. And it
really is a conspiracy of silence.
Â
It would be convenient if we were to be able blame just one group
and absolve all the rest. Senior executives, for example. They say
they are in charge, so clearly they are responsible! But it really
is a conspiracy with full participation from all hands  which
would include managers, workers, customers, politicians, drop
outs... Nobody really wants to call the shot. The Emperor is buck
naked!
Â
Most of the time, we just try to avoid the essential
conversations. But when backed into a corner, we do our very best
to sugar coat the pill. The consultant community (we know who they
are) are pretty good at this, after all they do have to make the
sale and pay the rent. But the end results are ridiculous nostrums
branded as ÂChange Management, ÂPainless Programs for
Paradigm Shift and so many more as to be uncountable. And just
to be very clear, we need to add Open Space Technology to that
list whenever good old OST is offered as some special process or
program we have created and Âdo.Â
Â
So anyhow, I do think that Griefwork is critical to Life Â
including life as experienced in Open Space. It really is
something worth talking about, I think.
Â
Harrison
Â
Â
Â
Winter Address
7808 River Falls Drive
Potomac, MD 20854
301-365-2093
Â
Summer Address
189 Beaucaire Ave.
Camden, ME 04843
207-763-3261
Â
Websites
www.openspaceworld.com <%20www.openspaceworld.com>
www.ho-image.com
OSLIST To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the
archives of OSLIST Go
to:http://lists.openspacetech.org/listinfo.cgi/oslist-openspacetech.org
Â
*From:*OSList [mailto:[email protected]] *On
Behalf Of *Daniel Mezick via OSList
*Sent:* Saturday, April 11, 2015 6:54 AM
*To:* [email protected]
<mailto:[email protected]>
*Subject:* Re: [OSList] Grief, Griefwork and Renewal -- The core
of our work, I think
Â
Hi All, Hi Harrison,
I continue to watch this thread carefully since it first appeared.
(Thank you for it Harrison...)
And I am noticing this thread is not really catching fire...yet.
I first ran into the org-level Griefwork concept in the SPIRIT book.
Since then I've been paying close attention to how grief might
actually be playing out in process-change initiatives in my own
work "coaching" Agile in organizations.
And after doing this for more than a few years, I conclude that
yes, indeed, the grief cycle is often behind (or underneath) what
is going on.
And the reality is that this org-grief concept is what informed
the early stages of the design of Open Agile Adoption (OAA,) a
method to get a rapid & lasting Agile adoption.
Ditto for Prime/OS, a method for gently introducing any kind
process-change into any kind organization.
Now the reality is that, in my experience, typical executives in
typical orgs are not ready to talk to about PLAY. So I have to use
the word "experimentation" instead.
And they are not ready for the concept of "self organization" so I
have to use "high performance" instead.
Given this reality, it's unlikely these execs- the folks who write
the checks- are ready, willing and able to discuss grief and
Griefwork. (I tried it once and it didn't take.)
All of that said, the design of OAA with before/after Open Space
and 100 days in between is greatly informed by the Griefwork
content found in the SPIRIT book. I teach a module on grief in the
OAA class and mention it a little bit in the forthcoming book,
but do not go too far with it because, well, you know.
But with OAA practitioners and teachers I do give the subject good
treatment and tell the more complete story of how OAA is designed
to deal in org-level grief of the development & evolution of
organizations. As a result I am always sending them to that "cult
classic", the SPIRIT book (!)
Now this quote in Harrison's (and Peggy's) story about USWEST
really hit me:
/"...Shortly told, the situation was that a corporate wide
redesign (Process Re-Engineering) *had failed massively *leaving
anger, frustration and confusion in its wake."/
Now as everyone knows I continuously rant on the futility of
mandating "process-change" and "new practices" like Agile, without
gaining the consent of the people affected by the change.
I rant on and on about the way Agile adoptions are typically
arranged from the top, in authority terms, and how the teams that
do the work are assumed to be perfectly happy about this, and in
fact love the new way of working.
And how that is rarely (if ever) the case, and how that
under-the-surface resistance (and even resentment) can and will
just TORPEDO the best of intentions with respect to getting a
rapid and lasting adoption.
And so it was (and is) with some interest that I noted this report
about "process re-engineering" in the USWEST story.
I'm guessing the "re-engineering" was issued from "on-high."
I'm also guessing that the people who were affected (that would be
just about everyone,) were probably not consulted first.
Probably not asked to express what they wanted, what they thought
or what they felt about it.
In other words, I'm guessing that "process re-engineering" at
USWEST was implemented as a mandate, not an invitation.
And that, for most participants, the experience was very triggering.
And cause for more than a little grief.
Kind of like the typical Agile adoption in the typical large
corporation today?
Lately I've been fond of saying:
* Most change creates grief.
* Most learning is change.
* Therefore, most learning creates grief.
Now, this may or may not be true. Either way- we know grief needs
and wants to be processed.
This seems to be especially true for organizations, and the USWEST
story seems to bear this out.
Unless I am totally wrong, and USWEST actually started in Open
Space, and set aside about 100 days to try it out the "process
re-engineering" stuff for a while, and then did another Open Space
after that?
And so: thanks again for this essay, Harrison. I am enjoying it.
Daniel
PS
I notice that in the book REALITY IS BROKEN by Jane McGonigal, she
lists various "happiness hacks" and one of them is: "reflect on
your own passing, for 5 minutes a day." She claims that doing so
tends to increase human happiness. Funny how that works...
Related links:
www.OpenAgileAdoption.com <http://www.OpenAgileAdoption.com>
www.Prime-OS.com <http://www.Prime-OS.com>
On 3/27/15 1:00 PM, Harrison via OSList wrote:
Grief and Griefwork are central to the human experience and
evolution. To the extent that Open Space is a useful forum in
which human experience and evolution may take place, both
grief and Griefwork are critical elements. The process itself
cannot be rushed. It will proceed at its own pace through the
several phases, none of which can be skipped or short changed,
for each phase contributes an essential element towards the
final goal, which is renewal. No doubt grief is painful, and
the process itself is, as the name implies, real work, but it
is good work. In totality, and contrary to the popular
perception, it is not sad. Indeed it is triumphal, even
joyful, creating the way for letting go of what has ended, and
leading to new life. Not bad for a dayÂs work!
Â
The ground breaking work describing the Griefwork Process was
done by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, ÂOn Death
and Dying. It was mind blowing. In one fell swoop she gave
meaning to one of lifeÂs most painful experiences: Grief. Yes
it was, and is, a pain, but pain with genuine gain. From the
terrible moments of ending, something innate draws us forward.
From Shock and Anger, through Denial on to letting go and
resolution. We move on. We donÂt have to invent it, even
think it. Happens all by itself, every time, and all the
time  if we just let it. And that is a critical point... we
have to let it happen. We can slow it, even abort it, but
doing so leaves us in a life of grief with no resolution.
Â
Kübler-RossÂs focus was on the individual response to Death.
My focus has always been on the larger agglomeration of
individuals which we call organizations, what they are and how
they develop and transform. And the more I thought about it,
and lived deeply in the heart of many organizations, it
occurred to me that Griefwork was very much present and
critical. At points of ending, all sorts of endings, the
process would start, sometimes with the whole organization
involved. Shock/Anger, Denial, Memories, Despair, Open Space,
Vision  those were my descriptors, and yes, Open Space had
nothing to do with meetings. For me it was that incredible
balance point between what was and what would become. IÂll
spare you the details, but if you are interested it is all
there in my first book, ÂSpirit: Transformation and
Development, which is yours for a mouse click at
http://openspaceworld.com/Spirit.pdfÂ
Â
Open Space Technology was a late comer in all of this,
definitely a funny thing on the way to the future  until it
began to dawn on me that everything I had experienced and
described under the heading of Griefwork in Organizations
showed up in that Âfunny thing. Which is why I ended up
calling it /Open Space/. ÂTechnology was merely an
afterthought, and mostly a joke.
Â
When an organization is in deep pain caused by market shifts,
corporate raiders, internal conflict, international disorder
 whatever  The process of Griefwork kicks in. The initial
response is shock and Anger, blame and confusion. ÂThey did
it! ÂHow could it happen to us? Old ways end. New ways
are much less than obvious. And the process rolls on! Should
such an organization find itself sitting in a circle, creating
a bulletin board... if would be fair to say that the Griefwork
Process is the script of the emerging drama. Unwritten,
unplanned, maybe unknown  but very much there, if you just
take a moment to see. And if you have never been in such a
situation, you can in fact see it in a remarkable video of
USWEST, thanks to Peggy Holman. http://vimeo.com/25251316
Â
Shortly told, the situation was that a corporate wide redesign
(Process Re-Engineering) had failed massively leaving anger,
frustration and confusion in its wake. In one part of the
USWEST world, The State of Arizona, it had all gone critical.
Somehow, Peggy Holman and her colleagues managed to bring in
Open Space, which is marvelously depicted by the video. When
asked to describe the course of events over the three day
gathering, one participant said (in reference to the second
day), ÂToday I think we are searching for solutions for what
we were bitching about yesterday. There it is. The passage
from shock and anger onto vision and renewal. But donÂt just
listen to the words. The Âbody language is even more
compelling. In the opening circle you will see a phalanx of
angry faces, arms folded, jaws set. Skip to the end and it is
practically a love in. And no, we did not script it!
Â
Knowing that Griefwork is central to the fabric and flow of an
Open Space is interesting. But becoming familiar with the
essential elements of Griefwork and their contribution to the
process of healing and renewal can provide a powerful point of
insight for anyone who has undertaken the role of facilitator.
It is not so much about guiding, or somehow directing, the
process, which simply canÂt be done. It is about deepening
our awareness of what is actually taking place. At the very
least this awareness will provide some comfort and orientation
in an otherwise confusing situation for the facilitator.
Â
Should it occur, as it often does, that the first day is
filled with acrimony, blame, and anger... all mixed with an
apparent unwillingness to face the facts of ending, this is
not something that can or should be Âfixed.  It is simply
the age old process of Grief doing its work. The natural
tendency to attempt soothing the rough waters, and bring about
some Ârational future oriented discussion will do no good
at all, and in fact is counter-productive. The likely result
is that the process will be aborted and driven underground. A
superficial Âpeace may be restored, but genuine healing and
renewal are denied.
Â
Comforting a fevered facilitator is the least of the gifts
that knowledge of the Griefwork process confers. More
important are the clues and cues such knowledge provides to
the facilitator, guidance on the most effective ways to hold
the space. When shock and anger are rampant, the critical role
is to keep the space wide open. This means serious Presence
and Invisibility, and if that seems to be too hard an
assignment, I suggest the ÂChair Exercise. Find a good
solid chair, place it in an out of the way corner, but with a
view of the action. Sit in the chair, and hold onto the seat
with both hands  HARD. Whenever you are tempted to jump in
and solve the situation, go ahead but keep holding onto the
chair. You will feel pretty ridiculous, but the lesson will be
immediate. Sit Down!
Â
As the Work of Grief moves along, new opportunities for the
facilitator will appear. This is not the time or place to list
them all, and my best effort will be found in the second half
of my last book, ÂWave Rider, called the ÂWave RiderÂs
Guide to the Future.Â
http://www.amazon.com/Wave-Rider-Leadership-Performance-Self-Organizing/dp/1576756173/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427472738&sr=1-3&keywords=harrison+owen
I am under no illusion that my efforts represent the ÂLast
Word, indeed I sincerely hope that they will constitute an
invitation to each and every one of you to explore and share
your experience and findings.
Â
I am quite sure, however, that Griefwork is not a process we
can design, program, or direct. It will happen as it always
has  on its own timetable. But we can help. Of more
immediate concern is the fact that we will have massive
opportunities for exploration and assistance. Any fair reading
of our current world order (is that an oxymoron?) tells us
that there will be a lot of endings, most of them painful, but
all of them potential for new beginnings. We have a lot of
work to do.
Â
Harrison
Â
Â
Winter Address
7808 River Falls Drive
Potomac, MD 20854
301-365-2093
Â
Summer Address
189 Beaucaire Ave.
Camden, ME 04843
207-763-3261
Â
Websites
www.openspaceworld.com <%20www.openspaceworld.com>
www.ho-image.com
OSLIST To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view
the archives of OSLIST Go
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--
Daniel Mezick, President
New Technology Solutions Inc.
(203) 915 7248 (cell)
Bio <http://newtechusa.net/dan-mezick/>. Blog
<http://newtechusa.net/blog/>. Twitter
<http://twitter.com/#%21/danmezick/>.Â
Examine my new book:Â The Culture Game
<http://newtechusa.net/about/the-culture-game-book/>: Tools for
the Agile Manager.
Explore Agile Team Training
<http://newtechusa.net/services/agile-scrum-training/> and
Coaching. <http://newtechusa.net/services/agile-scrum-coaching/>
Explore the Agile Boston
<http://newtechusa.net/user-groups/ma/>Community.Â
Â
--
Daniel Mezick, President
New Technology Solutions Inc.
(203) 915 7248 (cell)
Bio <http://newtechusa.net/dan-mezick/>. Blog
<http://newtechusa.net/blog/>. Twitter
<http://twitter.com/#%21/danmezick/>.Â
Examine my new book:Â The Culture Game
<http://newtechusa.net/about/the-culture-game-book/>: Tools for the
Agile Manager.
Explore Agile Team Training
<http://newtechusa.net/services/agile-scrum-training/> and Coaching.
<http://newtechusa.net/services/agile-scrum-coaching/>
Explore the Agile Boston
<http://newtechusa.net/user-groups/ma/>Community.Â
