Dear Peggy,
Thank you for sending the article and for reminding me about Tend and
Befriend as one of the basic responses of humans in crisis and stress.
It is so valuable to expand my noticing in working in times of crisis to
include this frame and look for where and how it happens.
With love and gratitude,
Doris
On Sun, Apr 19, 2020 at 1:36 AM agusj via OSList
<[email protected] <mailto:[email protected]>>
wrote:
Hi Peggy!
Thanks for share this The psychologist, Shelley Taylor, working with
a team of women, found women tended to respond differently. They
took care of the vulnerable and worked together.
I love it! I knew in my profound self that there should be another way.
Thanks a lot!
Warm regards
Agustín
On Thursday, April 16, 2020, 04:16:09 PM GMT-5, Peggy Holman via
OSList <[email protected]
<mailto:[email protected]>> wrote:
Hi Michael,
Thanks for opening this conversation. I’ve been thinking about
something similar, with a slightly different emphasis. I’ve been
struck by how frequently I’m hearing “we’re all in this together”.
So I’ve been thinking about how it is a time of both personal
responsibility AND a sense of the greater good that has never
existed in my lifetime. (We’re about the same age.) Even talk of
sacrifice. Something I recall my parents talking about from their
youth in World War 2.
Something that has intersected this mulling has been watching the
amazing amount of constructive journalism happening right now.
Practical, responsive, listening to the questions from the public.
And, of course, the generosity of people self-organizing to help others.
One last element in my thinking about this: "tend and befriend"
rather than "fight or flight.” In brief, in 2000, a woman
psychologist looked at the research that led to coining the phrase
fight or flight to characterize human response to threat or stress.
Turns out, like much of that early social science research, it was
done primarily with men. The psychologist, Shelley Taylor, working
with a team of women, found women tended to respond differently.
They took care of the vulnerable and worked together.
With nowhere to run, I see much of the response to Coronavirus
following the pattern of tend and befriend. It’s a trend I’d sure
like to see made conscious and furthered. I wrote a 2-minute piece
about it:
https://medium.com/@PeggyHolman/journalism-that-tends-and-befriends-in-the-time-of-coronavirus-1ec800ccf9ad.
I think fighting and fleeing less and tending and befriending more
encompasses both personal responsibility and the common good.
Be well and stay sane,
Peggy
________________________________
Peggy Holman
Co-founder
Journalism That Matters
15347 SE 49th Place
Bellevue, WA 98006
206-948-0432
www.journalismthatmatters.org <http://www.journalismthatmatters.org>
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Twitter: @peggyholman
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Enjoy the award winning Engaging Emergence: Turning Upheaval into
Opportunity <http://www.engagingemergence.com>
On Apr 16, 2020, at 12:40 PM, Michael Herman via OSList
<[email protected]
<mailto:[email protected]>> wrote:
Hi all,
I had a thought recently that might be interesting here, and that
maybe you can add on to, as a story and conversation here. And
then in the world. This overlaps with some other recent threads,
too, I think.
As background, I'm exactly old enough that the moon landing is, as
best I can tell, my oldest memory. I've seen pictures of stuff
that happened before, but I clearly remember the space toys being
given away at gas stations, our family buying our first color TV,
and (just like now) keeping our distance... in that case we were
supposed to stay six feet from the new set.
From that global moment came all kinds of "big blue marble"
photos, Bucky Fuller's "Spaceship Earth," and other images. Now
we had a picture of "all in this together" where "all" really was
every human. And then, a few decades later, we've created a
global network, a global economy, and global epidemics. Not
everyone made a direct, conscious connection about those images
from space, but somehow we all grew up participating in the
creation of these global structures and phenomena.
Now I think we might have a chance to accelerate our swing back,
to the micro, the local, the individual in equally strong,
long-term ways. It took us a while to get there, but the message
coming clearer now is "wear a mask," for instance, "to protect
others..." And inside of that, this seems like a visceral
reminder that "what you, the little individual does -- does
matter." It matters with masks and the virus, but it can be, and
I hope it will be, quickly translated to the plastic we use, the
miles we drive, the other things we purchase and reinforce with
our money, the way we manage emotions in groups, and so on. It
matters for everyone to manage their own "stuff," their own
behavior, purchases, words, and other choices.
This is what I hope we might be learning, anyway. And within all
of the possibilities, choosing to take responsibility for one's
own experience, actively choosing to be learning and contributing,
seems to me about the best choices we could focus on, each of us,
individually and personally. What we've been saying all along, in
various ways, that individual agency and actions matter, seems
more important and understandable that ever.
This makes me curious if and how what is happening now with the
virus and what we've all been teaching and practicing and inviting
"in open space," might shape the world over the next few decades.
I wonder what kind of a world might emerge from increasing
awareness of personal agency, responsibility, learning and
contributing, in meetings and everywhere else.
This is one good thing I have imagined could emerge from this.
This is the view I'm testing as I watch the news and talk with
clients these days.
What do you think might come out of the current situation, on any
scale?
And is there anything else to do about helping it along, for now,
wherever we are?
Michael
--
Michael Herman
Michael Herman Associates
312-280-7838 (mobile)
MichaelHerman.com <http://michaelherman.com/>
OpenSpaceWorld.org <http://openspaceworld.org/>
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Doris Gottlieb
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