*ENGLISH Mensa Invitational - for lexophiles* *The Washington Post Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.* *Here are the winners:*
*-------------------------------------------------*1.* Cashtration* (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2.* Ignoranus*: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 3.* Intaxicaton*: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 4.* Reintarnation*: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5.* Bozone* (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 6.* Foreploy*: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 7.* Giraffiti*: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 8.* Sarchasm*: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 9.* Inoculatte*: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 10.* Osteopornosis*: A degenerate disease.*(*This one got extra credit) 11.* Karmageddon*: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 12.* Decafalon*(n):The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 13.* Glibido*: All talk and no action. 14.* Dopeler Effect*: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 15.* Arachnoleptic Fit* (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 16.* Beelzebug* (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 17.* Caterpallor* (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. *The WashingtonPost has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.And the winners are:*1.* Coffee*, n. The person upon whom one coughs. 2.* Flabbergasted*, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. *A**bdicate*, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4.* Esplanade*, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk. 5.* Willy-nilly*, adj. Impotent. 6.* Negligent*, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. 7.* Lymph*, v. To walk with a lisp. 8.* Gargoyle*, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash. 9.* Flatulence*, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. 10.* Balderdash*, n. A rapidly receding hairline. 11.* Testicle*, n. A humorous question on an exam. 12.* Rectitude*, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. *Pokemon*, n. A Rastafarian proctologist. 14. *Oyster*, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. *Frisbeetarianism*, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. *Circumvent*, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. _._,_._,_
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