Re: Successful Aging

[Suzy Schlegel]

You didn't mention if your father only recently retired from his job or this been going on for a while?  Also, does he perceive there is a problem or are others deciding he has a problem?  Has he had time to adjust to retirement and find other interests?  Has anyone asked him if he is enjoying his new found freedom from time schedules, shaving daily and working 12 -14 hour days?  When my father retired at age 67, he had a schedule he followed, it wasn't one I would have chosen for him, but it also wasn't my life to be making those decisions either!  He did a lot of "sitting around", watching television, listening to the radio, loved watching the weather channel???  Would I do those things??? Absolutely NOT, but that's what he chose and I had to respect his decisions to live his life as he chose to do.  Maybe your father just needs some time to adjust to this new role in life before you "enroll" him therapy that he may resent.  Whatever course you decide upon, I hope you will include his wishes.  Suzy     ----- Original Message ----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Sunday, May 19, 2002 9:02 PM Subject: Re: Successful Aging I have a problem in my own family related to this.  My Dad, now 71, had a successful career as a chemical engineer, research director, and consultant.  He was away from home, commuting and working, 12 - 14 hours per day 5 to  6 days per week, plus about one week per month travel.   I don't think he ever developed any good leisure skills.  Recently he has suffered from episodes of depression.  I believe that he may have been prone to this all his life, but managed it by using his time in a structured way dictated by his employment.  My Mom has always been a homemaker, and thus has  always known how to structure and fill her own time.  She is still busy, she exercises, is active in a political organization, goes to the library, volunteers to take people from her church to medical appointments and chemo therapy,delivers meals on wheels Thursdays,  gardens, and shops for herself! and her grandchildren, and cleans her house meticulously.  She was on her own a lot when my Dad was working, so she filled her time.  She tries to include him in lots of her activities, but he resents her efforts to keep him busy.  He likes to watch the history channel and read.  Sometimes he doesn't even shower and shave until she nags him.  Then they don't get along and we children get caught in the middle.  Well, not the middle, because she calls us to complain, but he doesn't communicate when he's in one of these phases. Anybody have any thoughts for me ? -- Jody