fascinating moments in Childbirth Ed Class

[Julie Clarke]

Hi everyone, I had a fascinating moment in my class last night (independent class at home small group of 7 couples) This was the beginning of week 2: A young women (30 weeks booked into a priv hosp with ob) returned a video she'd borrowed on birth and announced that she thought it was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen.  My heart sank - wishing I could have been with her and explaining it to her as she watched it - I said to her that I was sorry I hadn't sat through it with her  to answer her questions on it straight away but would she like to discuss it with me now. She certainly did - and the rest of the group joined in - they were all able to debrief in a big rush what repelled them about birth.  So many things shocked her the fluid, the baby etc.   It was the very first time she'd seen a birth. I reassured them all that this was normal healthy birth and we had all been born like that - I went on to describe the importance of a normal birth - how the mother feels - the effect on the baby - the role of the partner etc - reinforcing all we'd gone through the week before. One of the Dads said it was pretty gruesome stuff - and I replied that with all the movies like Hanniball and other horror movies - involving rape and murder - where we see people shot and stabbed and beaten cruelly - I personally find gruesome, offensive and disgusting. I appealed to them to reflect on societies current attitudes about what is truely horrible and to please think about the way these issues are protrayed in our society - They sat quietly for a moment then one man said - No one has ever quite put it to me like that before and the others agreed. I felt the group's energy in the room change reflecting a turnaround in their ideas. They seemed to settle and calm. We then went on to discuss the breastfeeding article that appeared in yesterdays Herald and most had seen it and agreed there were parralels in what we'd been talking about. How some people are disgusted by public breastfeeding but wouldn't complain about the explicit sex magazines that are in full view at the newsagents. I listened carefully to all their comments for the remainder of the night as we wnt through medical interventions from the preparing for birth - women book by Andrea. The group responded well to the information asking lots of searching questions.  I gave them facts quietly and clearly and whenever I noticed someone bothered by the information I reassured them that their feelings were quite valid. Episiotomy invoked that response from half of them - last night was the first night they'd ever heard of such a thing.  They talked openly about how their ideas had changed during this session.  One man said he thought his job was just make sure you get her to the hospital on time so you don't have to do it yourself at home, but now he realises there's more to it than that. My heart goes out to all the midwives who must see these couples every day, who haven't had the preparation, information and previous support that classes can provide to help them work through these issues. I can imagine it to be a difficult journey to assist those couples towards an empowering birth. Any comments anyone ? hug to all Julie