I think a policy that denies a woman her support people while she has an epidural inserted is just plain daft. I had epidurals with both my sons, the first one because he was induced and after 6 hours (4cm) on oxy I just couldn't stand the pain anymore (ended up being a csec anyway) and the second one because after 24 hrs of labour I knew I was tense and fighting the contractions (5cm) and it was try out an epidural to stop me fighting them or have oxy again (which I swore I never would - yes it did work my VBAC baby was born 3 hrs later.
On both occasions my husband was there, and there was never any suggestion he should leave, which was just as well as they would have heard me screaming from the rafters if they had tried to make him leave. On both occasions I was scared and what I needed was one person there who I trusted not a bunch of strangers who just wanted to treat me like "another case".
Doctors need to learn a bit more about compassion and I suppose by the nature of the job anaethetists probably have less patient contact than most doctors but I did discover you can butt the system.
When my youngest was 18mths old he was referred to an ENT for grommets. The ENT only worked at an adult hospital that had a small children's day ward. They explained to me that they would take my baby from the ward down to the theatre on the next floor and would put him under down there. I would have to say goodbye to him in the ward and he would be brought back after the procedure. The ENT was fine about me accompanying him until he was under but the anaethetist wasn't. So we had a little "discussion" about it when he came to check my son an hour before. It finally came down to this:
Anae - we don't allow parents to come to theatre they get in the way he will be fine.
Me - I have been in a theatre before and I know how to stay out of the way. He is 18 mths old and very scared I am not letting him go off terrified with a bunch of strangers.
Anae - don't you care about how I feel about this?
Me - No! You are a grown up you can cope with your feelings - he is 18mths old and has no idea what is going on.
Point to me and guess who was the first parent to ever accompany her child while he was put under anaesthetic and be there for him in recovery. The nurses applauded no-one had ever stood up to him before.
The point is that the anaethetists can no more force you to do something you don't want to do. If an anaethetist tried this on with me in relation to an epidural I would refuse the epid and ask him/her if they would like to be responsible for the "murder" of my baby purely because they didn't like working with an audience.
If the husband doesn't want to be there it is a whole other story - but heavens all they need to do is give him a chair on the non working side on which he can sit and hold his wife's hand. What do they think he is going to do leap across the table and help insert the needle?
Debby M
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