[ozmidwifery] living and dying

[ec newnham]

Dear Sue, I have been thinking about you and your grief. It sounds like it was hard to accept this woman's family's decision, and the medical profession has a lot to answer for in its absolute inability to believe in miracles. Keep standing outside the box. It amazes me how many midwives I speak to who's other interest or passion is palliative care nursing, and they make the decision to follow one or the other path - life or death. It seems that those of us who are 'called' to this profession have a profound interest in the circle of living and dying. It was brought home to me just how much when the father of my oldest child died. My midwife of my most recent baby stayed with me (I was in shock - totally grief-stricken), took me (alone) and then with my son to see his body and spend time with him. She helped me to organise the funeral (he had no family here, I was next of kin) and brought us meals. I was struck by the fact that midwives in the community (particularly those working independently) are so much more than birth assistants. They are true guardians of the spirit, seeing them in and ushering them out. I know this cannot allay the grief you feel about your friend. Just some thoughts I wanted to share. Take care, love, Liz.