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What can I say!
These gave me a laugh. Rhonda
Actual School Absence
Excuse Notes
These are excuse notes from parents (including
original spelling) collected by schools from all over the
country.
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take
P.E. today. Please execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being
absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear School: Please
ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also
33.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is
administrating.
5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.
Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John
has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his
face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing
football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could
not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close
veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his
side.
10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose
vowels.
11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He
had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words in ()'s were crossed
out.]
12. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had
diarrhea and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday
because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It
was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to
go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she
wear.
16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We
forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it
Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a
week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter
was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the
Marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He
had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse Mary for
being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria
was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please
excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann
was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,
headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore
throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't
the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going
around, her father even got hot last night.
24. Please excuse
little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I
could not get him ready because I was in bed with the
doctor. | 
