[ozmidwifery] Christmas wishes

[Janet Glaser]

We've all heard about what would have happened if there had been Three Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men. They would have asked directions, Arrived on time, Helped deliver the baby, Cleaned the stable, made a casserole, brought practical gifts and there would be Peace On Earth!     Cute, but do you know what would have happened if there had been Three Wise Gay Men instead.  They would have done a fabulous parade towards the big "B" in full auburn/gold sequined gowns to match the low "Star of Bethlehem" lighting. Arrived early. Helped deliver the baby AND dressed it up in a gorgeous buttercream-colored 100% cotton throw. Cleaned the stable AND redecorated it in a "western" theme to match the animals. Would not have made a casserole but a flawless entree of chilean sea bass dusted in cocoa powder with guatemalan mangoes in a light chutney mix, mashed potatoes with a light cream fennel sauce and anjou pears with yogurt, cream cheese and Grand Marnier swirls,topped off with a caff/half caff cappuccino con panna. The practical gifts would have included items from the new Martha Stewart Living collection. Peace? How can you have peace when the entire night just screams for a drag number? And, they would have brought enough aromatic herbs, spices and potions to kill a small elephant.