Re: [ozmidwifery] co sleeping

[Pinky McKay]

Hi Kathy, All that pressure from others sounds like its chipping away at your confidence -why not enjoy what you have right now and not allow concerns about what might happen cloud that. Meanwhile, gradually introducing a bottle of EBM given by Dad, in teh weeks before you return to work would be much kinder than control crying and breaking the lovely bond -whay do people pressure mums that this is the only option? Babies grow quite a bit each month and who knows, in a month she may be taking a little bit of solid food, sleeping a little longer, you may not have to be with a labouring woman for several more weeks after that, or maybe she could go with you?   By helping your baby adapt gradually to Dad doing some settling, or sleeping next to Dad, she may not expect her "snacks" so often . There is a difference to being held and offered alternative comfort, than being "trained" by being left to cry. I dont believe controlled Crying is ever an option. With bigger bubs who arent co-sleeping, it isnt too difficult for many to gradually learn to self settle (so long as they are ready) if they are gently given an alternative sleep cue (to breastfeeding)  ie rocking and gentle music (like Music For Dreaming) at the bedtime feed, then gradually rocking for shorter periods until they are put down almost asleep. When they get the hang of this they can also do it at other wakenings- nothing ever has to be "cold turkey".   Enjoy the cuddles now, she'll be comforted by co-sleeping if you do have to be separated later too.     Maree -my talk in Sydney will be "Parenting By Heart - nurturing with confidence" - with a chat about Night Time Parenting later.   Denise is organising it - 7pm Friday,   Pinky     ----- Original Message ----- From: simsarch To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Saturday, July 26, 2003 2:35 PM Subject: [ozmidwifery] co sleeping I  too am co sleeping with my six month old baby and am loving every bit of it.  She is my third child and I didn't do it with the other two (don't know why).  She tends to feed a lot at night which hasn't been a problem.  However, I don't know what to do now as I am returning to work in a month and don't know how my partner will cope with these night time grazings if I am out with a labouring woman.  Can anyone offer me any advice?  She probably feeds every 2 hours, but it is more of a snack than a decent feed.  we am getting plenty of pressure to do the controlled crying thing in order to get her feeding less frequently at night which we really don't want to do, but on the other hand we need to make the situation more manageable for my husband who doesn't have the boobs if I'm not there overnight.  Many thanks, Kathy