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It really p#%*$*s me off when another woman says
"wow, you're brave having homebirths" when I say I had my babies at home. I
wouldn't be so rude and disrespectful as to say to them "wow, you're brave
having hospital births" even though that is what I'm thinking.
I'm as equally p*%$#*d off when they say "Oh you're
one of the lucky ones who has easy births" I want to scream that it has nothing
at all to do with luck and they certainly weren't easy.
The exhilaration of natural birth (at home) is like
nothing else I have ever, nor will ever experience again, in my eyes nothing
else will ever beat it and as Margie Perkins said at the recent homebirth
conference (something along these lines) it is like all homebirthers have a
secret that we can't explain to anyone else who hasn't experienced it.
It has nothing to do with feeling superior to
anyone else and for along time I'd keep my mouth shut at playgroup etc about my
birth experiences because it seemed to become a competition on who had the worst
time of it. Some have called me lucky, weird, crazy, a purist, mad homebirther
etc etc. I no longer keep my mouth shut because I know a different way
and I want to spread the word!
Jo
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, December 10, 2003 6:09
PM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] I've had a
baby (long)
I agree Jayne, and BLOODY GREAT job Jackie.
Remember our chat in Darwin. I have ‘borrowed’ your marathon
analogy re being rescued from natural birth! Thanks
Also Sylvia.
I think you need to consider a few factors of current maternity
services in Australia.
To have a natural birth today is hard
enough, to secure a homebirth is near impossible and the resultant
exhilaration is shared by so few. I found this when I (naively)
referred to the birth (at a local mother’s group) of my first (HB) as the
most beautiful, sacred thing I had ever done and that I later felt like
Xena, Warrior Woman! I was greeted with “give me an epidural any day”
Gawd I was so out of it for 2 days after etc etc. I was totally ostracised
as a zealot and made very unwelcome.
Re the C/s stuff. Women
who genuinely need a C/s have my upmost respect and sympathy, but these are
so fewer than the numbers performed. I also really admire the women
who realise they were dudded and make different choices for subsequent
babes, they have achieved real personal growth. I never make women
feel bad for having a C/s, but the same respect is not afforded homebirthers
who are often made feel very guilty for indulging and putting their babe at
risk etc. But what I AM SO ANGRY ABOUT is that it is the fear and lack
of information sought from so many women continues the misinformation
and the very real public perception that C/S is the safest, nicest way to
give birth and that women like me are zealots. With so many women
researching more about the purchase of a car or major appliance than the
birth of their child the perception and lack of evidence and subsequent high
morbidity continues. What we know is around 1% of women actually
choose an elective C/s for no medical reason and yet there has been so much
media around this being the ‘new way’ the majority of women are lied
to and scared half to death and then believe they “had to have a
C/S”.
Women like me are denied their basic right, unlike the woman
who schedules her C/s to suit her diary (remember as a taxpayer I pay for
the unnecessary C/S then I go and fully fund my homebirth). To make
midwifery care and homebirth a real option is not to deny women the choice
of C/S or Obs or anything else and yet the polarity of the debate continues
to be down on those with little or no rights/choices!
For the few
women that have experienced the amazing high of natural birth (esp at home
when a woman is totally in her domain) the high is like no other. I
defy any woman on the planet who has experienced this to say she would
choose another way. Welcome to the club Jackie, and so glad you had a soft
landing Ena! Bet Dad is also grinning!!
Justine
Oh Sylvia, you are right but I honestly don't think that
Jackie meant to imply anything :( She is obviously on a
wonderful high after the birth of her baby.
Jayne
-----
Original Message -----
From: Sylvia
<mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Wednesday, December 10,
2003 11:04 AM
Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] I've had a baby
(long)
Congratulations on the birth of your daughter.
What a happy story that was.
However, whilst I in no way support
the Today show story and a 'live' caesarean was just terrible and
sensationalist television you finish your letter with the comment 'that's
not childbirth'. And I agree with this - it's not vaginal birth, but
an operative 'delivery'.
What
upset me was your closing comments which I felt smacked of a superiority
in having done it 'naturally' . This type of belief only adds to the
pain and confusion of those women who have been subjected to caesareans.
As a neonatal nurse and a midwife I often see mothers who, rightly
or wrongly, have had an operative delivery followed by their baby
requiring admission to a tertiary neonatal unit. Not only as these
women having to cope with the stress of a sick newborn but they must also
cope with their perceived 'failure' to deliver naturally. It's
devastating to witness and I would like to remind those of us fortunate
enough to have experienced a wonderful birth such as described here that
women whose children are born via LUSCS are already mourning, and do not
need others implying that they are somehow lesser mothers because of this
operation.
Thank you.
Vance & Edwina
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Dear Jackie, Andrew and
Ena,
Congratulations to you all! What a
wonderful birth story, I can see the smile on your face from here!!. I
am so happy for you, especially Jackie whom I have met and always
admired as a midwifery role model and a mentor during my grad program.
Lots of love Edwina J
-----Original
Message-----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Jackie
Kitschke
Sent: Friday, December 05, 2003 12:05
AM
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject:
[ozmidwifery] I've had a baby (long)
Dear
all,
I have been lurking on and off over the last few
months with a midwife and consumer view as I have given birth myself to
a girl, Ena, on the 19.11.03. Having loosely followed the thread of
fetal hearts, Today show etc along with my own experience I have a
couple of comments.
We had Ena at home and employed the
services of the wonderful Roz Donnellan-Fernandez. She came and saw me
about 5 times antenatally and would be here for a couple of hours so
that even though I didn't see her lots of times (the frequency was my
choice) I had plenty of time to convey to her how I felt, what outside
factors may influence me etc and my husband Andrew had plenty of time to
ask questions etc.
We also invited a midwifery student,
Jessica, to share our experience and so the four of us welcomed Ena into
the world on a stormy evening.
I used
the lessons taught to me by the many women I have met over the years
including telling no-one our due date (handy as we went a week over),
restricting visitors till 2 weeks, (handy as we had some postnatal
issues), preparing lots of food before hand and taking plenty of time
off before hand (well I am an elderly (38)
primagravida!!).
The birth was the hardest, bestest,
most overpowering thing I have ever done and gave us a girl (first one
in Andrew's family for 48 years) in our bathroom. We needed to transfer
to hospital for Ena which was fortuitous as we discovered her platelets
were 20,000 as I have an antibody on my platelets which were destroying
hers and my platelets were 50,000 as I have a lupus anti-coagulant on
mine (very unusual to have both or even one but it was a week where
everything was unusual!!). So it was lucky I had a normal birth as an
operative birth would have been dangerous for both of us and as it was a
6 hour ROP labour I am not sure if wouldn't have elected to have pain
relief or what heaps of monitoring would have done. I am now at home
with a baby who is wondering what all of the fuss was about (there were
a few other issues which I won't go into but were all resolved! ). I
used the maternity services as necessity required and my birth
experience was great. I am so glad I didn't have to recover from a LUSCS
as I was pumping etc as Ena spent some time in the nursery asleep from
phenebarb due to some twitching. I wanted there to be lots of milk
for her when she woke up, which there was (not bad considering my Hb was
7.4 due to a retained placenta and PPH) all thanks to the LW staff at
the WCH keeping all visitors out, keeping me in LW and having Andrew
stay with me. (I was treated like the Queen of Sheba by everyone and I
don't know how Ican ever thank all of my friends and colleuges for what
they did for us).
Watching part of the Today show
really angered me as that is not childbirth. Mess in the bathroom,
exhilarated mother, exhausted and relieved support people and beautiful,
4.230kgs, caput and moulded head daughter is
childbirth!!!!!
Jackie
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