Sent: Monday, May 16, 2005 1:04 PM
Subject: [ozmidwifery] Intro
I've just joined the list and live in Vancouver,
BC Canada. Some of you know me from articles I've written for Midwifery
Today Magazine or just from being a generally uppity, brazen woman.
Lieve told me you were discussing the "drama in
birth" thread and I have read the posts with interest. It's so elusive,
isn't it, trying to describe what birth "is". It's very paradoxical----
a rites of passage, yet an ordinary day
profound and spiritual yet down and
dirty
complex yet so simple
intimate yet lonely and solitary
painful yet pleasurable
a huge accomplishment yet not of our
doing
Just when I think I know something about birth,
something proves I know nothing once again. What a fun profession
to be in. I would hope that introducing the lens of "drama" to
examining birth would lead not so much to pointing fingers of blame for what's
wrong with birth but, rather, to each player owning their own need for drama
and lightening up a bit about it. When I had my last baby, I
learned a technique for "disappearing" pain and used it all through the birth
process. I only had about 5 minutes when I thought "Gloria, you idiot,
you knew it would feel like this, why are you here again?!" As
soon as the baby was out, I had this huge wave of regret. . . . .I had had a
painless birth and had no story to tell, oh dear. I realized what an
idiot I was, of course. Who in their right mind would want a dramatic
story over a smooth birth?? I share that story with other women so they
can take a look at the inner need for a big story in their own lives.
When we get these things out of the closet and into the light of day, we
become more powerful. The only demons that control us are the ones
within.
As a birth attendant, too, I can see that I have
a need to be a "saviour" and a 'hero" instead of a fly on the wall.
Dramatic births are food for the insatiable ego. Learning to love the
simple, silent arrivals with only a flickering, fleeting glance of
gratitude from the woman transformed into mother. . . that is the quest of our
spirits.
I look forward to getting to know you on this
list. Gloria Lemay, Vancouver, BC Canada
