Re: [ozmidwifery] pregnancy counselling

[Emily]

thanks everyone for the thoughtful replies. i guess my main problem was to do with the particular woman. since she was actually adamant and sure she and her partner didnt want a baby, i felt it was inappropriate to go into the logistics of having a baby (since she didnt think there was any chance she would!)

anyway im going to let it slide. its just heart sinking when something you are very interested in and feel you are good at, someone in authority goes and tells you that youre bad at it

btw im doing bmed

love emily

Jennifairy <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

Emily I sympathise, & I have 2 things to offer..
some years ago I was late with my period, was definite that if I was
pregnant I would terminate, & went to a GP for a pregnancy test. The GP
asked me some of those questions your examiner wanted you to ask - at
the time I was living in a shed with no electricity, rainwater only,
while I was building my house. The GP told me that 'babies dont care
where they are', & actually refused to do the blood test. So I guess Im
saying - what are you asking the questions for?
I dont see what this womans fathers religious inclination has to do with
her decision-making process. Women in this situation are making what is
*always* a very difficult decision, & I think our job is to help her (if
she requires help) identify what the important (to her) issues are for
her to make a decis! ion she can live with.
Having said all that, & just recently graduating from BMid myself, I
also have to say that there are some things you have to do as a student
that you inherently believe is a complete crock. Sometimes you just have
to 'talk the talk', & then go & walk it the way you believe it should be
walked. One of the most important lessons I learnt at Uni was to
distinguish what walls I could butt my head against that would make the
most difference, & what walls would just leave me a blood-soaked wreck
(this was obviously experience-based learning - & its such a pity that
the 'science' of phrenology has become a thing of the past, as I could
probably get a job as a teaching model :) ) (Im sure there was a Monty
Python sketch about that..)
So, yeah, write the letter if you have the time, but dont let it get in
the way of blitzing the exams!
cheers
Jennifairy

Emily wrote:

> hi everyone
> im very sorry if this is too off topic, just ignore if it is!!
> i had an exam today with a pretend patient who came in for
> pregnancy test results. it was positive and she was very upset
> cying etc and probably wanted to have an abortion. i let her talk
> and found out how she felt and enquired about her partner's views,
> whether she was studying or working and what her main concerns
> where etc etc. as well as giving her unbiased info about her options
> the feedback i got from the examiner, i really disagree with. he
> said that i should have found out about her living conditions, how
> big her home was, who she lived with, whether her partner had a
> job... etc etc even what her dad would think about her having a
> baby and whether he was religious !
> i feel that asking these questions of a distressed woman youre
> seeing for the 1st time is just fulfilling your own cur! iosity.
> it may help you make a value judgement of what you think she
> should do but does asking her these things (that she already knows
> the answers to) help her make the decision or just help you decide
> your own opinion ?? also wouldnt you asking those sort of
> questions express to her your opinion? ie if she answered she
> lived in a one bedroom bedsitter and didnt have a partner or job,
> then she may feel that youre saying these are reasons why she
> shouldnt have the bub.
> love to hear what your thoughts are because i might write a letter
> to the faculty about it because i definately lost marks
> thanks everyone - ahh exam stress hey?
> emily
>
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