2. As in the other shot, you did not think of where the flash was going to throw the shadow. If you can not avoid a flash shadow it is usually best to arrange it to be on the far side of the subject. Or to make it a bold part of the composition, but he is too close to the wall to do that in this instance.
3. The crop is to low in this particular photo you would be better off with more table and less air above the subjects head.
4. More subtilely the shot lacks the dynamic look that would indicate the intensity to go with his expression. Also he is obviously has his attention on something out of the frame but no indication of what.
Remember, B&W photography is all about light and shadow, unlike color photography where you want to avoid deep shadows most of the time. I believe you have a fast lens (f2?), you should have been able to shoot these available light. Being young and healthy you can probably hold 50mm down to about 1/8 second with a bit of practice, certainly f2 @ 1/15th which I think would have worked in there. All those rules you find in books have to do with being safe, you kind of have to push the limits sometimes if you want great photos.
Is this helpful?
--
Boris Liberman wrote:
Please, can you tell me what is wrong/has to be fixed with the first one that made you not to chose it?
-- graywolf http://graywolfphoto.com
"You might as well accept people as they are, you are not going to be able to change them anyway."
