Either you are younger than I thought and therefore able to remember things, or you taped those conversations... just like the companies say they do for quality control :)
makes my conversation with the USPS childs play. ann Tom C wrote: > > What d'ya think about that algebraic notation up there in the subject. > Pretty sharp, eh? > > Our Dish Network receiver went out (lightning struck nearby). I call Dish > Network. > > Me: Yes, I'd like to replace my receiver because it's not working anymore. > > CS: First, sir we need to verify that it's not working. Is it plugged in > and connect to the television? > > ME: Yes. > > CS: Then I'll transfer you to a technician. > > ME: No. I don't want to be transferred to a technician. I know when it > working and it's not working. I checked it out and I can guarantee you it's > not working. > > CS: We have to transfer you to a technician to run a diagnostic. > > ME: No, I'm not going to be transferred to a technician. It's not working > and all I want is a new receiver. > > CS: OK, sir, what kind of receiver would you like. > > (long pause) > > ME: What kinds do you have? If you're going to give me a choice you need to > tell me what my choices are. > > CS: (rattles off 3 or 4 kinds). > > ME: I want the HDTV receiver. > > CS: OK, that'll add (can't remember $5 or $15) to your monthly bill for > HDTV. > > ME: What channels will I get in HD? > > CS: (names 3 or 4). > > ME: I only get 3 or 4 channels in HD? > > CS: Yes. > > ME: Then I don't want the HDTV receiver. > > CS: What kind of receiver would you like sir? > > (long pause) > > ME: What kind of receivers do you have? Do you expect me to remember all > the kinds you rattled off earlier? > > CS: (reads the list again) > > ME: I want just the plain old regular receiver. > > CS: $125 will be added to your next bill. > > ME: Why? Who owns the receiver, me or Dish Network? > > CS: Dish Network owns the receiver sir. > > ME: Then why do you want to charge me $125 when it's YOUR equipment that > failed not mine? Does that make any sense to you? > > CS: Please wait... "please wait"... "please wait"... "please wait"... I see > that you've been a customer for five years. We can give you a $50 credit. > > ME: So I still have to pay $75 for your equipment that broke, is that right? > > CS: Yes sir. If you had purchased the equipment protection policy then you > would not have to pay for the new receiver. > > (ahh... they get me either way) > > Me: I don't like it, but OK. > > Me: I also want to change my programming. I want to drop the Starz, > Cinemax, Showtime, and HBO packages. > > CS: Why would you like to drop them sir? > > Me: Because I rarely watch them and they are about half of the monthly > charge. > > CS: You realize that you will lose channels if you drop them, don't you sir? > > Me: Yes. Which ones. > > CS: (reads me a list that turns out not be complete and includes a couple of > channels I actually liked) > > Finally we get done with the call. Channels we wanted are missing. It > seems they package a handful of the channels we wanted most with a ****LOAD > of channels we don't care about. > > In the next week we got Satellite Internet and the installer told us about > DirectTV vs. Dish Network. I check it out. It turns out that almost all > the channels we wanted which got cut off with Dish Network are available > with DirectTV without purchaing $60 worth of additional programming. > > We get DirectTV installed and Dish Network is physically disconnected, > though not yet turned off. > > Last week I called Dish Network. > > ME: Yes, I'd like to discontinue my Dish Network subscription. > > CS: May we ask why sir? > > ME: Yes, we got Direct TV because we like the programming packages better > and we get some channels that we have to pay extra for with Dish Network. > > CS: May I ask what channels those are sir? > > ME: No, I don't want to go into that. I just want to have the service > discontinued. > > CS: Well sir, we offer a reduced rate plan that allows you to keep Dish > Network on and compare the services side by side so you can decide which you > like better. > > ME: Look, I don't want that. I already decided. DirectTV has already been > installed and the Dish Network dish is disconnected. I just want to get the > service turned off so I don't have to pay for it anymore. > > CS: OK sir, I'll transfer you that department and they'll help you with > that. > > ME: OK, Thank you. > > (transfers) > > CS: Hello sir, we understand you wish to turn off your Dish Network service, > is this correct? > > ME: Yes. > > (Deja vu) > > CS: May we ask why? > > ME: It's because I like DirectTV's programming package better AND because I > dislike the customer service provided by Dish Network. > > CS: May I ask what the problem was with customer service? > > ME: No, I'm not going to go into that. I just want the service turned off. > > (Deja deja vu) > > CS: Well sir, we offer a reduced rate plan that allows you to keep Dish > Network on and compare the services side by side so you can decide which you > like better. > > ME: Look, I don't want that. I already decided. DirectTV has already been > installed and the Dish Network dish is disconnected. I just want to get the > service turned off so I don't have to pay for it anymore. > > (NOW GET THIS... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA).... > > CS: OK sir, we can help you with that. Sir we have a plan whereby we can > put your DishNetwork account into a dormant status. What this does is it > allows you to come back anytime in the future and reactivate your Dish > Network service. That plan is only $10 a month. > > ME: Wait. I would not be getting Dish Network programming and you're > telling me that I would be paying $10 a month just to not have my account > totally shutoff? > > CS: That's correct sir. > > ME: No. What is it I have to say to you people to make you understand that > I JUST WANT TO HAVE MY ACCOUNT SHUT OFF? > > (after what I was just told and what we learn next, do the math) > > CS: OK sir. But you do realize then that if you ever decide to return to > Dish Network, there'll be a $25 restoral fee and you will have to pay for 2 > months programming in advance. > > ME: I don't care about that, just shut the service off. > > CS: OK, sir. I show there being a zero balance on your account. Have a > nice day. > > It took over 10 minutes for this to finally happen. > > Tom C.
