Luxury! it took me 3 years and endless phone calls to a gas supply company to convince them to stop sending me bills for a gas supply that I hadn't ordered and didn't use. When they finally agreed that I hadn't ordered their stupid gas, and nor had the non-existent family of gypsies squatting in my non-existent basement, the bill was for over £800.00.
The final conversation went something like this: "Sir, I've spoken to my supervisor, and he has agreed that you can pay only half the outstanding bill, in instalments over 3 years". "No. Listen, here's what we'll do. I will pay the whole bill in one go if you can show me a contract with my signature on it". Several days later a letter arrived saying the account was closed and there was no outstanding bill. -- Cheers, Bob > -----Original Message----- > From: Tom C [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > Sent: 22 December 2005 01:02 > To: [email protected] > Subject: Re: Customer Service (was post office woes (was > AnnSan's photo calendar)) > > What d'ya think about that algebraic notation up there in the > subject. > Pretty sharp, eh? > > Our Dish Network receiver went out (lightning struck nearby). > I call Dish Network. > > Me: Yes, I'd like to replace my receiver because it's not > working anymore. > > CS: First, sir we need to verify that it's not working. Is > it plugged in and connect to the television? > > ME: Yes. > > CS: Then I'll transfer you to a technician. > > ME: No. I don't want to be transferred to a technician. I > know when it working and it's not working. I checked it out > and I can guarantee you it's not working. > > CS: We have to transfer you to a technician to run a diagnostic. > > ME: No, I'm not going to be transferred to a technician. > It's not working and all I want is a new receiver. > > CS: OK, sir, what kind of receiver would you like. > > (long pause) > > ME: What kinds do you have? If you're going to give me a > choice you need to tell me what my choices are. > > CS: (rattles off 3 or 4 kinds). > > ME: I want the HDTV receiver. > > CS: OK, that'll add (can't remember $5 or $15) to your > monthly bill for HDTV. > > ME: What channels will I get in HD? > > CS: (names 3 or 4). > > ME: I only get 3 or 4 channels in HD? > > CS: Yes. > > ME: Then I don't want the HDTV receiver. > > CS: What kind of receiver would you like sir? > > (long pause) > > ME: What kind of receivers do you have? Do you expect me to > remember all the kinds you rattled off earlier? > > CS: (reads the list again) > > ME: I want just the plain old regular receiver. > > CS: $125 will be added to your next bill. > > ME: Why? Who owns the receiver, me or Dish Network? > > CS: Dish Network owns the receiver sir. > > ME: Then why do you want to charge me $125 when it's YOUR > equipment that failed not mine? Does that make any sense to you? > > CS: Please wait... "please wait"... "please wait"... "please > wait"... I see that you've been a customer for five years. > We can give you a $50 credit. > > ME: So I still have to pay $75 for your equipment that broke, > is that right? > > CS: Yes sir. If you had purchased the equipment protection > policy then you would not have to pay for the new receiver. > > (ahh... they get me either way) > > Me: I don't like it, but OK. > > Me: I also want to change my programming. I want to drop the > Starz, Cinemax, Showtime, and HBO packages. > > CS: Why would you like to drop them sir? > > Me: Because I rarely watch them and they are about half of > the monthly charge. > > CS: You realize that you will lose channels if you drop them, > don't you sir? > > Me: Yes. Which ones. > > CS: (reads me a list that turns out not be complete and > includes a couple of channels I actually liked) > > Finally we get done with the call. Channels we wanted are > missing. It seems they package a handful of the channels we > wanted most with a ****LOAD of channels we don't care about. > > In the next week we got Satellite Internet and the installer > told us about DirectTV vs. Dish Network. I check it out. It > turns out that almost all the channels we wanted which got > cut off with Dish Network are available with DirectTV without > purchaing $60 worth of additional programming. > > We get DirectTV installed and Dish Network is physically > disconnected, though not yet turned off. > > Last week I called Dish Network. > > ME: Yes, I'd like to discontinue my Dish Network subscription. > > CS: May we ask why sir? > > ME: Yes, we got Direct TV because we like the programming > packages better and we get some channels that we have to pay > extra for with Dish Network. > > CS: May I ask what channels those are sir? > > ME: No, I don't want to go into that. I just want to have > the service discontinued. > > CS: Well sir, we offer a reduced rate plan that allows you to > keep Dish Network on and compare the services side by side so > you can decide which you like better. > > ME: Look, I don't want that. I already decided. DirectTV > has already been installed and the Dish Network dish is > disconnected. I just want to get the service turned off so I > don't have to pay for it anymore. > > CS: OK sir, I'll transfer you that department and they'll > help you with that. > > ME: OK, Thank you. > > (transfers) > > CS: Hello sir, we understand you wish to turn off your Dish > Network service, is this correct? > > ME: Yes. > > (Deja vu) > > CS: May we ask why? > > ME: It's because I like DirectTV's programming package better > AND because I dislike the customer service provided by Dish Network. > > CS: May I ask what the problem was with customer service? > > ME: No, I'm not going to go into that. I just want the > service turned off. > > (Deja deja vu) > > CS: Well sir, we offer a reduced rate plan that allows you to > keep Dish Network on and compare the services side by side so > you can decide which you like better. > > ME: Look, I don't want that. I already decided. DirectTV > has already been installed and the Dish Network dish is > disconnected. I just want to get the service turned off so I > don't have to pay for it anymore. > > (NOW GET THIS... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA).... > > CS: OK sir, we can help you with that. Sir we have a plan > whereby we can put your DishNetwork account into a dormant > status. What this does is it allows you to come back anytime > in the future and reactivate your Dish Network service. That > plan is only $10 a month. > > ME: Wait. I would not be getting Dish Network programming > and you're telling me that I would be paying $10 a month just > to not have my account totally shutoff? > > CS: That's correct sir. > > ME: No. What is it I have to say to you people to make you > understand that I JUST WANT TO HAVE MY ACCOUNT SHUT OFF? > > (after what I was just told and what we learn next, do the math) > > CS: OK sir. But you do realize then that if you ever decide > to return to Dish Network, there'll be a $25 restoral fee and > you will have to pay for 2 months programming in advance. > > ME: I don't care about that, just shut the service off. > > CS: OK, sir. I show there being a zero balance on your > account. Have a nice day. > > It took over 10 minutes for this to finally happen. > > Tom C. > > > >
