On Sun, May 17, 2009 at 5:58 PM, Godfrey DiGiorgi <[email protected]> wrote: > May I preface this that I don't know Ken Rockwell, I've never been to his > website, and I only know of him through the continuous jibes and guffaws > posted on the PDML (and through my brother). But when I saw this on DPR in > one of the forums, I had to laugh ... Only a true genius would have such > amazing name recognition ... > > ----- > Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography. > > Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: > P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]. > > Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his. > > Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these > Pulitzers.. > > Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time. > > Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is. > > Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the > light waits for him.. > > Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the > earth. > > Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one. > > Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he > ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.. > > When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first > place in three different categories. > > Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to > test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a > Canon sticker. > > Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats > how Pentax was born. > > Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once. > > Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident. > > Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would > just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius. > > Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, > there were ducks.. > > Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you. > > Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure. > > Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble Space > Telescope.. > > When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it. > > Ken Rockwell's portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes. > > On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National > Geographic Magazine. > > Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d". > > When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of > business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos. > > For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers. > > Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's. > > Ken Rockwell never focuses, everything moves into his DoF. > > Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned Photoshop for him: all > it consists of is a close button.. > > The term tripod was coined after his silhouette. > > Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the > viewer. > > A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the > quality was a lot "like a" rockwell. > > Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken > Rockwell of martial arts.. > > Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues.
Har! cheers, frank -- "Sharpness is a bourgeois concept." -Henri Cartier-Bresson -- PDML Pentax-Discuss Mail List [email protected] http://pdml.net/mailman/listinfo/pdml_pdml.net to UNSUBSCRIBE from the PDML, please visit the link directly above and follow the directions.
