i'm not to be held responsible ... > Puns For Educated Minds > > > 1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was > Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. > > 2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, > but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . > > 3. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still. > > 4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was > a weapon of math disruption. > > 5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. > > 6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. > > 7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would > result in Linoleum Blownapart. > > 8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. > > 9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. > The police are looking into it. > > 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. > > 11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. > > 12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the > other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.' > > 13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. > > 14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.' > > 15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from > prison was a small medium at large. > > 16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and > pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. > > 17. A backward poet writes inverse. > > 18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. > In feudalism it's your count that votes. > > 19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. > > 20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine . > > 21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess > looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per > passenger.' > > 22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, > 'Dam!' > x > 23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the > craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your > kayak and heat it too. > > 24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other > says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.' > > 25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain > during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. > > 26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at > least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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