DECEMBER 8, 2010

Wealthiest .0000001% Hail Tax Deal
Billionaires Praise Obama Move

GENEVA (The Borowitz Report) - President Obama’s deal to extend the
Bush tax cuts for the rich drew rave reviews today from the wealthiest
.0000001% of Americans, who pronounced the deal “a total home run.”

“When we first heard about the deal, we were like, this is too good to
be true,” said multibillionaire Thurston Howell IV, a spokesman for
the richest .0000001%.  “But when our butlers read the plan aloud to
us during the cocktail hour, we were incredibly stoked.”

The 29 plutocrats who make up the nation’s wealthiest .0000001% were
at their annual meeting at Mr. Howell’s villa in Geneva, Switzerland
when news of the President’s deal was first released.

“Bill Gates and Warren Buffett were the first to hear about it, and
then the news just kind of trickled down, if I may use a favorite
phrase of ours,” Mr. Howell said.

“The President deserves credit for recognizing what the wealthiest
.0000001% have known for years,” he added. “Our cost of living has
soared astronomically, especially when you consider how expensive it’s
gotten to control the outcome of elections.”

In response to critics who have said that Mr. Obama’s decision to
extend the tax cuts represents a change in his position, Mr. Howell
said, “If I may coin a phrase, that's change I can believe in.”

[by Andy Borowitz]
-- 
Jim Devine / "The conventional view serves to protect us from the
painful job of thinking."   - John Kenneth Galbraith
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