Published on Monday, January 7, 2008 by CommonDreams.org
An Obama Fable–It’s All About the Mood, Dude
by Ralph Nader
The Obamarama Campaign Express was roaring down a New Hampshire
highway near Nashua when an aide spotted the sprawling No Holds Barred
Sports Bar. “Let’s stop the bus,” she urged, “and do some random
schmoozing.”
Obama and his entourage poured out of the bus and headed for the front
door, over which hung a large sign: “HOME OF THE POLI-BEER: WHERE
BOOZE, POLITICS AND SPORTS MIX IT UP!”
Inside the packed bar, the guys and gals were gathering for the Big
Game to start. Before the game, however, there was an hour for
political talk time. Their eyes widened in amazement when they saw
Barack, bounding through the doorway with his secret service detail.
The bar had a big pit, with a huge crackling fireplace, where the
patrons have their regular give and take. Obama was ready for some of
that.
He started: “I stand for change. They said we set our sights too high
in Iowa. They said now is not the time. I proved the cynics wrong in
corn country and I’ll prove them wrong in the granite state. To show
you I mean it, no speech, go at me. Our time for change has come.”
Guy number one-”Ok, Barack, you’re going for the power in the Big
House, the big companies already have the power, how ya gonna make us
little people powerful?”
Obama-”Stay tuned. One leap at a time. We are one people. Get me there
first.”
Gal number one-”You say, CHANGE, well how are you going to cut the
bloated military budget full of vast waste, fraud and abuse, when
you’ve specifically said you’ll ‘expand and modernize the military?’
Why, it’s already half or more of the government’s operating budget,
squeezing programs for children, health and all that. I’m an
accountant and I know numbers.”
Obama-”Exactly. Our time for change has come. I’m going to change the
old weapons with new weapons and the old soldiers with the new
soldiers. That’s real change-at the grass roots.”
Guy number two-”You don’t seem to have any rough edges, Barack.”
Obama-”It’s all about the mood, dude.”
The crowd was getting agitated and the questions came faster and faster.
“Why are you for nuclear power with taxpayer guarantees?”
“Will you oppose Congress getting pay raises, pensions and health
insurance until the American people get the same?”
“Do you favor repealing the anti-union nightmare-the Taft-Hartley Act
of 1947?”
“How can you talk about change and take gobs of campaign money from
the big corporate lawyers and bosses?”
Obama, smiling: “It’s ALL about the mood, dudes. All the rest are
details you can look up on my website-obama_is_us.org. We are choosing
hope over fear.”
Gal number two-”Ok, answer this one that probably isn’t on your
website. When are you going to meet with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton
and campaign in the black ghettos-say Harlem or Watts?”
Obama-”Whoaa, give that tough lady a Poli-beer on me! We are one
nation.”
Guy number three (with an Obama face mask)-”I’m the old Obama,
remember me? I was for single-payer, full medicare for everyone. I was
strongly for Palestinian rights and for replacing NAFTA and WTO, not
for tweaking them. I was for taxing the super-rich and defending class
actions. I was for capping credit-card and loan shark interest rates.
What happened to me?”
Obama-”Well, didn’t I tell you that I stand for CHANGE?”
Gal number three-”You seem to be for everyone, but not everyone is for
everyone. Some are against everyone. Tell me, are the big
corporations, the greedy defense contractors, drug, oil and insurance
companies, starting to quake in their boots at the thought that you
are now the front-runner?”
Obama, lifting his chin-”Well, Ma’am, we haven’t ordered our
seismometer yet.”
Oooohs and boos float around the pit. A few start drifting away.
Guy number four-”You’re one of those smart Haavard lawyers, Barack.
You were a constitutional law teacher. You were against the illegal
invasion and occupation of Iraq. So, why aren’t you putting two and
two together-impeachment of the war criminals in the White House
followed by conviction in the Senate?”
Obama-”You don’t understand (testily), impeachment talk is just more
of the same old Washington politics. I stand for change. No need to
point fingers. We are one people.”
Gal number four-”Hello, Barack. I’m Hermaphrodite and I luv your
blended politics of harmony.”
Obama-”Great! Then how about a quick dance around the bar before we
have to leave,” he said, humming to the tune of the Battle Hymn of the
Republic-”We are choosing unity over division, we’re sending a
powerful message, that change is a coming to America, it is all about
the mood, dude…”
Ralph Nader is a consumer advocate, lawyer, and author. His most
recent book is The Seventeen Traditions.
