> Subject: FW: Bumper Stickers II > > > > Bumper Stickers, Slogans, etc. > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > 24 HOURS IN A DAY - 24 BEERS IN A CASE! COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT! > > > > Horn broken. Watch for finger. > > > > Kentucky: Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names. > > > > FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software. > > > > I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN. > > > > A hangover is the wrath of grapes. > > > > SAVE the WHALES. ... Collect a whole set. > > > > ENDLESS LOVE: STEVIE WONDER and RAY CHARLES PLAYING TENNIS > > > > A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. > > > > IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP BUT YOU EAT BETTER. > > > > LIFE IS UNCERTAIN.... EAT DESSERT FIRST! > > > > STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere! > > > > DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music - > > > > OTHER THAN THAT, MRS. LINCOLN, HOW WAS THE PLAY? > > > > JOIN THE ARMY Travel the World, Meet interesting people and kill > > them. > > > > Where there's a will I want to be in it. > > > > MOOSEHEAD: A great beer and a new experience for a moose. > > > > After all that work, Alex Haley found out he was adopted. > > > > The statement below is true. > > The statement above is false. > > > > They call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. > > > > How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff? > > > > He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead. > > > > Time's fun when you're having flies.......Kermit the Frog > > > > Wyoming Highway Sign: SPEED KILLS. SLOW INFURIATES. > > > > The faulty interface lies between the chair and the keyboard. > > > > Kansas State Motto: KANSAS - FIRST OF THE RECTANGLE STATES > > > > POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN ....Cops have nothing to go on. > > > > One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every > > day. > > > > If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down. > > > > If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. > > > > Alabama State Motto: At Least We're not Mississippi > > > > It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black. > > > > A company is judged by the president it keeps. > > > > To err is human. To forgive is against company policy. > > > > Schizophrenia beats being alone. > > > > If at first you don't succeed, Put it out for beta test. > > > > FOR SALE -- Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once. > > > > To catch rabbits, Hide behind a bush and do carrot calls. > > > > ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK: > > 12% Monday > > 23% Tuesday > > 40% Wednesday > > 20% Thursday > > 5% Friday > > > > If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic. > > > > THE U.S. CONGRESS - 100 Senators; 435 Representatives; No Clues > > > > When things look dark, hold your head up high so it can rain up your > > nose. > > > > CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES! > > > > If at first you don't succeed, redefine success. > > > > JESUS SAVES SINNERS and redeems them for cash and valuable prizes. > > > > Hi, I'm bored, heavily armed and I have a Bible. > > > > BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER AND TASTIER, TOO. > > > > Forget the Joneses. I can't keep up with the SIMPSONS. > > > > STOP THE SLAUGHTER. BOYCOTT BABY OIL! > > > > If the shoe fits, buy it. ----Imelda Marcos > > > > I want to die while asleep like my Grandfather, not screaming in > > terror > > like the passengers in his car. > > > > Hello, front desk? Some guy named Gideon left his Bible here. > > > > You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a > > lot today. > > > > A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well. > > > > HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH. > > > > Time is just nature's way to keep everything from happening at once. > > > > FREE THE INDIANAPOLIS 500 > > > > Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it? > > > > All true wisdom is found on T-shirts. > > > > HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET > > > > Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires > > > > I don't have a solution; but I do admire the problem. > > > > I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it. > > > > One-seventh of your life will be spent on Mondays. > > > > A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS But it uses up a thousand times > > the memory > > > > The Meek shall inherit the earth....after we're through with it. > > > > If a thing is worth doing... It would have been done already. > > > > Digitarians are members of The First Church of Binary Science. > > > > Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. > > > > IF WE WEREN'T MEANT TO EAT ANIMALS THEN WHY ARE THEY MADE OF > > MEAT? > > > > Two can live as cheaply as one... for half as long. > > > > Waiter, there's no fly in my soup. .....Kermit the Frog > > > > HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment > > for a pig. > > > > An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. > > > > Be Alert...the world needs more lerts. > > > > 87% of all statistics are made up on the spot. > > > > Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can > > die. > > > > POO-POO HAPPENS! > > > > (Bumper Sticker seen on Baby Stroller) > > THE BUCK DOESN'T EVEN SLOW DOWN HERE Keep going. > > > > Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career. > > > > Digital circuits are made from analog parts. > > > > How much can I get away with and still go to heaven? > > > > NUKE THE GAY BABY WHALES > > > > Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough. > > > > Quick, Call a Witch Doctor. My witch is sick. > > > > JESUS LOVES YOU - It's everybody else that thinks you're an ass. > > > > I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her name was, "Always". > > > > What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free? > > > > Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded firestation? > > > > It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. > > > > If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy? > > > > 1955 -1975: 36 Elvis Movies. > > 1975 -1998: Nothing. > > > > HARD WORK WILL PAY OFF LATER. LAZINESS PAYS OFF NOW! > > > > WELCOME TO UTAH - Set your watch back 20 years. > > > > To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question........or is > > it? > > > > Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep. > > > > I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a > > vegetarian. > > > > When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the > > IRS. > > > > Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house. > > > > Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. > > > > I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better! > > > > I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt > > her. > > > > Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. > > > > Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. > > > > A closed mouth gathers no foot. > > > > The trouble with life is there's no background music. > > > > THE BILL OF RIGHTS (Void where prohibited by law) > > > > If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN. > > > > The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of > > the > > population. > > > > I was just looking at your nametag, honest! > > > > First draw the curve, then plot the data. > > > > ILLINOIS The Land of the Voting Dead > > > > EMORDNILAP is Palindrome spelled backwards. > > > > A FOOL AND HIS MONEY can throw one hell of a party. > > > > IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX? > > > > When blondes have more fun do they know it? > > > > Money isn't everything, But it sure keeps the kids in touch. > > > > REMEMBER, HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD ARE BELOW AVERAGE. > > > > What happens if you get scared half to death twice? > > > > WHERE THERE'S SMOKE, THERE'S DINNER. > > > > Losing a wife can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible. > > > > Customer Service Notice: Helen Waite is now in charge of all rush > > orders. If you are in a hurry, just go to Helen Waite. > > > > If you run out of sick days, call in dead. > > > > ATTENTION: I-15 TRAVELERS YOU ARE ENTERING THE STATE OF UTAH. IT IS > > ILLEGAL TO OBEY ANY FEDERAL STATUTE > > > > Without C we would have to program in BASI and PASAL > > > > KINKY is using a feather. PERVERTED is using the whole chicken. > > > > Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion. > > > > Gargling twice daily is a good way to see if your throat leaks. > > > > GUN CONTROL: A solution in search of a problem. > > > > Cruel and unusual punishment works better. > > > > REMEMBER: FIRST you pillage, THEN you burn. > > > > JESUS IS COMING. Look Busy. > > > > ENERGIZER BUNNY ARRESTED. Charged with battery. > > > > Cleanliness is next to "clean and jerk" in the dictionary. > > > > TO ERR IS HUMAN - TO FORGIVE IS TO ERR > > > > PRESERVE THE SPOTTED OWL (in formaldehyde) > > > > We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"? > > > > Be kind to your inferiors, if you can find any. > > > > Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake! > > > > The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. > > > > Four out of five people think the fifth is an idiot. > > > > It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere. > > > > Think of the lottery as a tax break for the intelligent. > > > > Two rights do not make a wrong. They make an airplane. > > > > Two wrongs do not make a right, but three lefts do. > > > > MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT > > > > 186,000 MPS: It's not just a good idea --It's the LAW! > > > > When you work here, you can name your own salary. I named mine, > > "Fred". > > > > Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking? > > > > ATHEISM: A non-prophet organization. > > > > Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name. > > > > KENNEDY COMPOUND - KEEP OUT - TRESPASSERS WILL BE VIOLATED > > > > Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of it. > > > > RED MEAT IS NOT BAD FOR YOU - FUZZY GREENISH-BLUE MEAT IS BAD FOR > > YOU. > > > > POWER CORRUPTS AND ABSOLUTE POWER IS KINDA NEAT. > > > > If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, hunt > > it > > down and kill it. > > > > A closed mouth gathers no feet. > > > > A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. > > > > A king's castle is his home. > > > > A penny saved is ridiculous. > > > > All that glitters has a high refractive index. > > > > Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. > > > > Anarchy is better than no government at all. > > > > Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object. > > > > As you read the scroll, it vanishes... > > > > Automobile -A mechanical device that runs up hills and down people. > > > > > > Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue. > > > > Of the choice of two evils, I pick the one I've never tried before. > > > > Brain --the apparatus with which we think that we think. > > > > BATCH -A group, kinda like a herd. > > > > Computer hackers do it all night long. > > > > Computer modelers simulate it first. > > > > Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit. > > > > Computer programmers know how to use their hardware. > > > > Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. > > > > Courage is your greatest present need. > > > > CLEARASOL -Effective sunspot remover. > > > > Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired. > > > > Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'. > > > > Do something unusual today. Accomplish work on the computer. > > > > Documentation is like sex: When it's good, it's fantastic, when it's > > bad... > > > > Don't force it, get a larger hammer. > > > > Don't hate yourself in the morning --sleep till noon. > > > > Drive defensively --buy a tank. > > > > Earn cash in your spare time --blackmail friends. > > > > Entropy isn't what it used to be. > > > > Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them use to reality. > > > > > > Familiarity breeds children. > > > > God didn't create the world in 7 days. He pulled an all-nighter on > > the 6th. > > > > Going the speed of light is bad for your age. > > > > GAY ABANDON -Homosexual repellent perfume. > > > > He who hesitates is sometimes saved. > > > > Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. > > > > Help support helpless victims of computer error. > > > > Herblock's Law: if it is good, they will stop making it. > > > > History does not repeat itself, --historians merely repeat each > > other. > > > > I'm defending her honor, which is more than she ever did. > > > > If you don't change your direction, you may end up where you were > > headed. > > > > If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem. > > > > I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice. > > > > In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared minds. > > > > It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. > > > > It works better if you plug it in. > > > > It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere. > > > > Jury --Twelve people who determine which client has the better > > lawyer. > > > > KODACLONE -duplicating film. > > > > Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. > > > > Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something > > else. > > > > Life's a bitch, then you die. > > > > Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves. > > > > Mediocrity thrives on standardization. > > > > MOP AND GLOW -Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team. > > > > Never lick a gift horse in the mouth. > > > > NyQuil -The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning > > medicine. > > > > Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement. > > > > Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research. > > > > QUARKBAR -the candy with flavor and charm. > > > > QUASIMOTO -4 wheeled hard-top moped made in France. > > > > Reality's the only obstacle to happiness. > > > > Screw up your life, you've screwed everything else up. > > > > Silver's law: If Murphy's law can go wrong it will. > > > > Some grow with responsibility, others just swell. > > > > SQWERTY -Computer keyboard sized down for use by children. > > > > SYSTEM GOING DOWN AT 4:45 THIS AFTERNOON FOR DISK CRASHING. > > > > The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord. > > > > The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. > > > > The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. > > > > The road to success is always under construction. > > > > Those who can't write, write help files. > > > > To be, or not to be, those are the parameters. > > > > To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer. > > > > Today is the last day of your life so far. > > > > TRAPEZOID -A device for catching zoids. > > > > Wasting time is an important part of life. > > > > When all else fails, read the instructions. > > > > When in doubt, don't bother. > > > > When in doubt, ignore it. > > > > Xerox does it again and again and again and... > > > > XMODEM -A spot-marking transfer protocol. > > > > YTERM -A terminal program for queries. -- Indi Soemardjan Be my guest: http://pagina.de/indradi
