> It all started when I was 6 years old. While I was playing outside on my
> farm in California, I met a boy. He was an average kind of boy who teased
> you then you chased them and beat them up. After the first meeting in
> which I beat him up we kept on meeting and beating each other up at the
> fence.
> That only lasted for a while though. We would meet at the fence all the
> time and we were always together.
>
> I would tell him all my secrets. He was very quiet and he would listen
> to what I had to say. I found him easy to talk to and I could talk to him
> everything. In school we had separate friends but when we got home we
> would always talk about what happened in school.
>
> One day I said to him that a guy I liked hurt me and broke my heart.
> He just comforted me and said everything would be okay. He gave me words
of
> encouragement and helped me to get over him. I was happy and thought of
> him as a real friend. But I knew that there was something else about him
> that
> I liked. I thought of it that night and figured that it was just a friend
> kinda thing that I was feeling.
>
> All through high school and even through graudation we're always
> together and of course I thought of it as being friends. But I knew deep
> inside
> that I really felt differently.
>
> On graduation night even though we had different dates to the prom I
> wanted to be with him. That night after everybody went home I went to his
> house and wanted to tell him that I wanted to see him. Well, that night
> was my big chance and all I did was just sit there with him watching the
> stars and talking about what his dream was. How he wanted to get married
> and
> settle down. He said how he wanted to be rich and successful. All I could
> do was to tell him my dream and cuddle next to him. I went home hurting
> because I didn't tell him just how I felt.
>
> All through college I wanted to tell him but he always had someone
> with him. After graduation he got a job in New York. I was happy for him
but
> at the same time I was sad to see him go. I was sad also because I didn't
> tell him how I felt. But I couldn't let him know now that he was leaving
for
> his big job. So I just kept it to myself and watched him go on the plane.
I
> cried as I hugged him for what I felt was going to be the last time. I
> went home that night and cried my eyes out. I felt hurt that I didn't
tell
> him
> what I had inside my heart.
>
> Well, I got a job as a secretary and then worked my way to a
> computeranalyst. I was proud of what I had accomplished.
> One day, I got a letter with an invitation to a marriage. It was from him.
I
> was happy and sad at the same time. Now I know that I could never be with
> him and that we could only be friends. I went to the wedding the next
month.
> It was a big occasion. The big church wedding and the reception at the
> hotel. I met the bride and of course him. I fell in love one more
> time.
>
> But I held back so it wouldn't spoil what should be the happiest day in
> his life. I tried to have fun that night but it was killing me inside
> watching him being so happy and me trying to be happy covering up my
sadness
> tears
> inside of me. I left New York feeling that I did the right thing. Before
I
> left on
> the flight, he came running out of nowhere and said his good-byes and how
he
> was happy to see me. I came home and just tried to forget about what went
on
> in New York, I had to go on with my life.
>
> As the years went on, we wrote to each other on what was going on and
> how he had missed talking to me. On one occasion he never wrote back to me
> at
> all. I was getting worried as to why he hadn't written anything for a
> long time after I had already written 6 letters to him. Well, just when
> everything seemed hopeless and sad in my life, I got a note that said:
> "meet me at the fence where we used to talk about things". I went and saw
> him
> there. I was happy to see him, but he was broken-hearted and sad inside.
> We hugged until we couldn't breathe anymore. Then he told me about the
> divorce and why he hadn't written for a long time. He cried till he
couldn't
> cry
> anymore.
>
> Finally, we went back to the house and talked about and laughed about
> what I had been going and catch up on old times. But in all of this, I
> couldn't tell him how I felt about him. In the days that followed, he had
> fun and forgot about all his problem
> and his divorce. I fell in love with him. When it came time for him to
> leave New York, I went to see him off and cried. I hated to see him leave.
> He
> promised to see me every time he could get a vacation. I couldn't wait
> for him to come so I could be with him. We would always have fun when we
> were
> together.
> One day he didn't show up like he said he would. I figured that he
> might have been busy. The days turned into months and I just forgot about
> it.
> Then I got a call one day from a lawyer in New York. The lawyer said that
he
> had died in a car accident going to the airport. And that it took this
long
> till everything was settled. It broke my heart. I was shocked about what
> took
> place. Now I knew why he didn't come that day. Again, I was
> broken-hearted.
> I cried that night, cried tears of sadness and heartache. Asking
> questions why did this happen to a kind guy like him?
> I gathered my things and went to New York for the reading of his will.
> Of course, things were given to his family and his ex-wife. I finally got
to
> meet her since the last time we met at the wedding. She explained to me
> how he was and how he always provided. But he was always unhappy. She
would
> always try everything but she couldn't get him happy, as he was that
> night at their wedding. When the will was read, the one thing that was
given
> to
> me was a diary.
>
> It was a diary that told of his life. I cried as it was given to me. I
> didn't know what to think. Why was this given to me? I took it and flew
> back to California. As I flew on the plane I remembered the good times
that
> we
> had together. I started reading the diary and what was written. The diary
> was started with the day we first met. I read on till I started to cry.
> The diary told of him saying that he had fallen in love with me that
> day I was broken-hearted. But he was too afraid to tell me what he had
felt.
> That is why he was quiet and liked to listen to me. It told of how he
> wanted to tell me so many times, but was too afraid to say anything. It
told
> of
> when he went to New York and fell in love with another. How the happiest
> time he had was seeing me and dancing with me at the wedding. He said he
> imagined it was our wedding. How he was always unhappy till he had no
> choice but to divorce his wife. How the best time in his life was to read
> the
> letters written to him by me.
> Finally, the diary ended when it said, "today I will tell her I love
> her". It was the day he was killed. The day I was going to finally find
> out what was really in his heart.
>
> If you love someone, don't wait till tomorrow to tell her. Maybe that
> next day will never come at all.
