Enjoy...... > It arose one morning from the bowels of my desk, a formless mass > that spread and covered itself over anything I was looking for. > "Who are you?" I asked. > "I am Clutter," the mass answered, "and I am here to confound > your life. I am the things you refuse to throw out though you > haven't used them in six years, the miscellaneous papers, phone > numbers, business cards, and chatckas you accumulate and don't > put away. I am the inevitable manifestation of your sloppiness. I > am Clutter." > I grabbed Clutter and moved it from one end of the desk to the > other. Clutter chortled. That's my favorite pastime. Moving > from one end of the desk to the other. "What do you want?" I > asked. > "To frustrate you. I will resist all attempts to remove me, > reduce me, or otherwise eliminate me. It's my purpose to hide > whatever important piece of paper you need, whichever phone > number you must call." > "I'm throwing you out," I stormed. Clutter shook his untidy mass > sadly, as in pity. > "Not without looking through me to see if there's anything you > really need," Clutter answered. "the odds are slim, but you > won't take that chance. And while your sorting through me, I'll > re-form in another pile." > "But you'll be smaller, more manageable." > "Not really. You'll decide to keep 90% of me, as you always do. > And soon, new papers, numbers, documents will gather, making me > more obstructive than ever." > "You won't ruin my life, Clutter! I'll start a filing system! I'll put > every last bit of you where you belong." Clutter gazed at me > contemptuously. > "The last time you tried that, you created my cousins, Chaos and > Disorder. It'll never work." > Clutter had me and I knew it. Attempts in the past to file things > alphabetically had only created 26 piles of mess instead of one. > I was desperate, so I decided to bluff. "I'll take a time > management course," I threatened. > Clutter quite rightly ignored my remark. I wasn't dealing with an > idiot, after all. "Then I'll buy a computer and store you on my > floppy disks!" > "And within a month your disk-filing system will be in total > disarray, plus you'll have another pile of papers waiting to be > entered onto disks. Face it, you can't win. > Exasperated, I ran to the closet. "I'm getting some air." > Clutter had been to the closet before me. Shoes were scattered, > shirts were unhung, clumps of pants and underwear lay strewn next > to towels and a lawn chair. Socks congealed in small piles, > looking like the waste product of some nylon-eating monster. > Cliff notes from A Tale of Two Cities lay atop the heater. > "Clutter," I yelled. "You have crippled my productivity for the > last time. No longer will I be late, no more will I miss > appointments, never again shall I be overwhelmed by your size and > withdraw into reading old magazines. I am going out to the store > to buy a paper shredder." > I looked around for a long moment. "Now where did I leave my > keys?" > Clutter burped. T
