On Wednesday, July 6, 2016 at 6:14:35 AM UTC-5, Angie Byron / webchick 
wrote:

[snip]
 

> However, the fact that this accusation has this many other signatories 
> from leaders in the PHP community who are *not* generally known for causing 
> drama for no reason, saying that this person is being disruptive to their 
> work, demonstrates to me that this person must actually be pretty 
> (actually, majorly) disruptive to other peoples’ work.
>

Angie, I have to respectfully disagree on this point.  Later in your post, 
you criticize the counting of supporters versus non-supporters.  Yet you 
just counted signatories and "leaders" (a very subjective category). 

 [snip]

It is absolutely, unequivocally, 500% on the person *doing the 
> communicating* to do said communicating in a way that doesn’t alienate and 
> frustrate others, *particularly* in an “official” standards body like this, 
> It is NOT on the person *reading* the communication to take on the extra 
> mental headache to “read between the lines” and try and find the nugget of 
> truth buried somewhere in aggressive/patronizing/whatever words. Those 
> who’ve said that the conduct of members of this group reflect on the group 
> as a whole are absolutely bang on about this.
>


Again I disagree.  There is no way for a writer/speaker to know and avoid 
every single thing which may or may not alienate or frustrate one of her 
many readers/listeners.  That's an impossible ideal.

Sadly, I've lost a lot of respect for a few people whom I've admired for 
many years as a result of this -- and all among those trying to oust Paul 
Jones.  I was shocked to see their names on the list of people who 
complained.  I wondered how it got to this point and yet those people 
haven't spoken privately with Paul Jones in a constructive fashion?

Imagine you are employed with 10 co-workers all working for the same boss. 
 Imagine you make a perceived mistake.  Do you want your boss to angrily 
chew you out in front of the 10 co-workers, or do you want to have a 
private, calm, conversation with that boss about the situation?  This whole 
thing appears to me to be the former.

Yes, people like to avoid conflict, as Angie suggested.  

That does not however mean they necessarily try to solve the problem in a 
productive manner in quiet, off-channel ways.  Instead, they often stew in 
their complaints and then begin to share bitter thoughts with others who 
have them -- which only magnifies the problem, instead of solving it.  It's 
human nature, because it's easier.  It's less time consuming.  It even has 
it's own personal emotional rewards.  Doing the right thing often takes 
courage and effort.

I would advocate that everyone involved needs to cool off for a while, and 
then make a real courageous attempt to find their best selves, take the 
long view and see if a better solution can't be found.


Chris Johnson

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