As you may have noticed, early this morning we got bored and
decided to delete from the Internet.  After getting an
estimated sixteen-point-four trillion complaints, we became
overwhelmed and aggravated by your incessant need to RTFM that we
pressed CTRL+Z and brought it back.  You're welcome.

    In earnest, a catastrophic failure on one of our systems coincided
with a migration effort being headed by some very talented folks.
This led to a domino effect of issues that resulted in a temporary -
but widespread - impact on the online version of the documentation and
downloads.  Things are nearly back to "normal" now across the network
--- or so it seems.  If you come across any issues on your favorite
* mirror, please let us know at or via a
reply to this thread and we'll check it out.

    As a result, a list of the top ten reasons PHP had an outage today:

        10.) We installed an experimental PECL module named "Invisible Ink."
         9.) We learned our indoor solar panels don't work when the
lights get turned off.
         8.) We had our mobile bandwidth slowed to a crawl because we
exceeded 2GB for the month.
         7.) A Groupon swarm for two free downloads for the price of
one killed our network.
         6.) We whited out this time to protest another
Patriots/Giants Superbowl, while the BC Lions never even got a phone
         5.) Our build of mod_expires runs on the Mayan calendar, and
attempting to do a 60-day expire segfaulted.
         4.) The $25.90 check we wrote to cover the server's AOL
dial-up bounced.
         3.) It's Chinese New Year, but it was too cold to set off the
fireworks outside today, so.... sorry.
         2.) As it turned out, all our base truly were belong to them.
         1.) We needed 7,500,001 signatures on the petition against SOPA/PIPA.

    Thanks to all for your patience and such.  And, of course, apologies to all.

</Daniel P. Brown>
Network Infrastructure Manager

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