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Top Ten Star Wars Fan Euphemisms For Not Having A Girlfriend

10. Camping alone outside the theater.
9. My force is no longer with me.
8. The Death Star is not yet operational.
7. The Empire's striking out.
6. Shaking hands with the wookie.
5. Darth Vader has no place to put his helmet.
4. Oiling the droid.
3. Unable to set coordinates for the planet Babe.
2. Spending the night with Han Solo.
1. Tractor beam not powerful enough.

(David Letterman's Top 10 list April 28, 1999)

Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi are in a
chinese restaurant eating a meal.
Half an hour later Obi has finished, and places
his chop sticks on the table.
Luke is in a real mess as he can't use his sticks,
and he has rice all down his shirt, noodles in his hair
and beanshoots round his mouth.
Obi looks Luke in the eyes and says in a booming voice:
"Use the forks Luke, use the forks."

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