Excerpts from a Cat's diary...

DAY 659 -- My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 662 -- Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this
their bed.

DAY 669 -- Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep
depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 681 -- Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
little cat I was... Hmmm Not working according to plan

DAY 688 -- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good
was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a
foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a
My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 690 -- There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More
importantly I
overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must
what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 699 -- I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an
informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to
speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every
move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.


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