Josie, I just found out today that my prolactin levels are high and that I have other symptoms of hypopituitarism, so I'm curious about other's experiences. I see it's been a few weeks since your message, so I'm curios about how you are holding up as your appointment approaches. You said that you have been using a rebounder and lifting weights. That would be enough to send me into "HH". I collapse after any mildly aerobic exercise, sometimes for months. I've read that the hypopituitary thing can cause this. I am 44 and have been sick for over a year now. I've gone through fatigue so severe I seriously feared I would fall asleep and never wake up. I do have a husband and daughter, which I am very thankful for, but it's been such a long period of dysfunction for me that I see the stress in them. It's very hard for me to see signs of depression starting in my daughter. I feel like I am missing her childhood... she is 11 and growing up fast. They want attention from me that I don't have energy to give. I also feel very much alone, since I feel stretched to just join them in conversation. I am blessed to have family, but being chronically sick, I think, makes us feel very alone. I've been frustrated with doctor's for years. Somehow they tend to always ask me if I experienced childhood abuse. When I tell them I have, the diagnostics stop there and they tell my I am depressed and send me on my way. With this crash I've been more persistent and have also learned recently that I have a lymphocitic bowel condition, maybe Crohn's disease, and have a history of melanoma. I am seeing a new endo later this month, but my last endo told me repeatedly not to worry about my symptoms, and even told me that "women worry more than men." I've had a fever for over a year, visual disturbances, sweating, swelling, abdominal pain, dry skin like you mentioned, headaches, insomnia, severe fatigue, etc., etc. Don't worry??? Can I at least be a little bit curious???? The last couple of years I have been working toward a PhD in clinical psychology. As I started getting sicker one professor told me I was a "somatosizer" (ie, it's all in my head.) I have lost the respect of many people in the program due to my sickness. In a psychology program, they're going to look for personality weakness, so that's been very hard... I've felt very judged. I have not been able to continue with school. I am still holding out hope that I will be well enough again to finish my degree, but I'm losing optimism. My parents live near by, and my mother is also very unsupportive. She has told me that I have always had health problems, been cranky at times, unhappy at times, etc... insinuating, again, that being sick is a personality flaw. I've probably had pituary issues for many years. My daughter was a miracle that happened after 13 years of marriage, so I've had the infertility issues as well as the other symptoms for many years. My mother seems to think it is my fault that I haven't been able to get better. I don't have a lot of experience with treatment yet, but I have been through a lot of testing and felt so sick that I have felt like I am dying. I feel like an old car that's been driving along the highway loosing a hub cap here, a fan belt there, and am finally stalled on the side of the road hoping for help to come along. I feel like the thing that has been most helpful for me is to accept that I could die and be ok about that. That's not to be overly dramatic, but I feel that if I can be ok with the worst possible outcome, then I don't have to worry about it any more and I can focus on other things. Every day I just do what I can, which isn't much. The last few months I've started painting my house in fun colors (one section of wall at a time.) I take a low dose of adderall, which gives me just a little energy to do such things. I've taken up beading and jewelry making to help the hours pass and get my mind off of my body. In some ways I've learned to enjoy daily living more than I ever have. It's still hard, I still spend most of my days doing almost nothing, but I haven't woken up crying for a couple of months now. I feel more peaceful. Hope this helps. How are you holding up? Andie |
