http://www.arabnews.com/?page=13§ion=0&article=130112&d=24&m=12&y=2009&pix=kingdom.jpg&category=Local
Press
Thursday 24 December 2009 (07 Muharram 1431)
Wife is like a car without guarantee
Saleh Al-Turigee | Okaz
Manal tells her story with some laughable wretchedness and sadness. She
says in her message, "I am 30 years old, Saudi, a graduate and like many
university graduates still looking for a job. Looking for employment is not,
however, my main concern or top priority because it is almost impossible to get
a job without wasta (connection). My main concern at the moment is getting
married. I'm 30 and unmarried, what should I do?
"One of my friends advised me to contact a sheikh who also works as a
matchmaker. After some initial hesitation, I called him and responded to his
questions. I told him that my prospective husband should be single. It's not
important if he is divorced or a widower, he shouldn't be married. He confirmed
that my request was difficult if not impossible because I am 30 and no bachelor
would want to marry a woman like me.
"I later discovered that there are women who are older than me and less
beautiful, and who got married through this sheikh whereas I'm still waiting.
Wasta played an important role in it. This sheikh arranged marriages for other
women in standard time because they came through people he knew. These women
were also married to single men. Is this our situation now that it depends on
wasta how quick matchmakers operate? Is this our condition even though
matchmakers claim to be working for the sake of Allah?"
Manal's message ended. Even if she did not explain why she hesitated for
weeks before contacting the matchmaker, we can say she was struggling between
giving up her humanity against becoming a commodity such as a car to be sold to
a buyer without any guarantee.
This situation drives men and women into illicit relations, which is more
dangerous. The majority of women who give their names to matchmakers are seen
as commodities. It also seems that most men are convinced that marriage is like
buying a new car. They take care of their wives for a short time just like
someone who buys a new car and then, as time passes, they lose interest.
Establishing a family in these circumstances is difficult. Therefore, it
seems natural that a driver is brought in to behave like the father and a
housemaid is brought to behave like the mother. The issue is not just of
parents being lazy.
Organizing marriages through matchmakers under the pretext of protecting
society is destructive to humanity; this destruction is not limited to the
husband and wife, but also affects children from such matrimonies. The child
who lives in a house devoid of love and emotions cannot be normal. If we were
to tell him or her this then he or she would say, "I never saw normal people
from whom I could have learned to be a normal, loving human being."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
