Merry Christmas, Y’all!

Paul H. Tarver

Sent from my iPhone

> On Dec 22, 2023, at 4:41 PM, Ted Roche <tedro...@gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> 'Twas the night before crisis, and all through the house,
> Not a program was working, not even a browse.
> The programmers were wrung out, too mindless to care,
> Knowing chances of shipping hadn't a prayer.
> 
> The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
> While visions of inquiries danced in their heads.
> When out in the lobby there arose such a clatter,
> That I sprang from my cube to see what was the matter.
> And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
> But a SUPER PROGRAMMER, oblivious to fear.
> 
> More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
> And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
> On Update! On Add! On Inquiry! On Delete!
> On Batch Jobs! On Closing! On Functions Complete!
> His eyes were glazed over, his fingers were lean,
>> From weekends and nights in front of the screen.
> 
> A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head,
> Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
> He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
> Turning specs into code, then he turned with a jerk.
> And laying his finger on the ENTER key,
> The system came up, and worked perfectly.
> 
> The updates, updated; the deletes, they deleted;
> The inquiries, inquired; and the closing completed.
> He tested each whistle, he tested each bell,
> With nary an abend, and all had gone well.
> The system was finished, the tests were concluded,
> The client's last changes were even included!
> 
> And the client exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
> "It's just what I asked for, but NOT what I want"
> 
> (attributed variously, my copy came from here[1])
> 
> [1] http://www.mdarwin.ca/humour/night-before-xmas/night-before-crisis.phtml
> 
> https://web.archive.org/web/20070923102738/http://www.mdarwin.ca/humour/night-before-xmas/night-before-crisis.phtml
> 
> Merry Christmas, Chag Hanukkah sameach, happy Qwanza, merry Solstice,
> happy Saturnalia and so forth to all!
> 
[excessive quoting removed by server]

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