On Feb 13, 2007, at 9:02 AM, MB Software Solutions wrote:
> I'm not for
> abusing any kids, nor do I prefer to spank, but there are times
> where I
> think as a parent you need to establish that "fear of God" kind of
> factor in your kids. It worked for me. I loved my dad tremendously,
> yet I certainly knew what NOT to do because I did NOT want to be
> spanked
> as a kid or even get yelled at by him. NEVER did I fear abuse from my
> dad...I just feared discipline. To me, there is a HUGE difference and
> they're not even close in relation. To others, you're barbaric if you
> even lay a hand on a child...even in a non-threatening way.
I've found that it all depends on the child. Of my two boys, one was
petrified of any sort of reprimand. Giving him the basic 'time-out'
upset him greatly, and was very effective at instilling in him what
was expected. The other one? He'd laugh at what he saw as a feeble
attempt to scare him. Time-outs meant nothing to him. Scolding just
rolled over him. But if I got physical with him - boy, did he respond
to that! Once when he was about 4 he was in one of his out-of-control
states, and a couple of verbal scoldings did nothing. So I marched
over to him, roughly picked him up and threw him onto a nearby couch
(lotsa pillows; don't worry!). That snapped him right out of it. He
didn't worry about verbal stuff, but being physically overpowered by
someone who could easily pick him up and toss him like a toy really
got the point across that he better pay attention!
I agree that kids understand the difference between abuse and
discipline when the parent is in control. It's just that there are so
many parents who are not in control that it has raised society's
awareness of the problem of abuse that has been swept under the rug
for so long.
-- Ed Leafe
-- http://leafe.com
-- http://dabodev.com
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