This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time.  I think this guy 
should have been promoted, not fired.  This is a true story from the 
WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the 
customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; 
however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 
'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator:         'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller:              'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator:         'What sort of trouble??'
Caller:              'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the 
words went away.'
Operator:         'Went away?'
Caller:              'They disappeared'
Operator:         'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller:              'Nothing.'
Operator:         'Nothing??'
Caller:              'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator:         'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller:              'How do I tell?'
Operator:         'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller:              'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator:         'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller:              'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept 
anything I type.'
Operator:         'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller:              'What's a monitor?'
Operator:         'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.  
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller:               'I don't know.'
Operator:          'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where 
the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller:              'Yes, I think so..'
Operator:         'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's 
plugged into the wall.
Caller:              'Yes, it is.'
Operator:         'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there 
were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller:               'No.'
Operator:          'Well, there are.. I need you to look back there again and 
find the other cable.'
Caller:               'Okay, here it is.'
Operator:          'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into 
the back of your computer.'
Caller:               'I can't reach.'
Operator:          'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller:               'No.'
Operator:          'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way 
over?'
Caller:               'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- 
it's because it's dark.'
Operator:          'Dark?'
Caller:               'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have 
is coming in from the window.'
Operator:           'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller:               'I can't.'
Operator:          'No? Why not?'
Caller:               'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator:           'A power ..... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it 
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your 
computer came in?'
Caller:                'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator:           'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up 
just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it 
from.'
Caller:                'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator:           'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller:                'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator:           'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!' 


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