I got this in Spanish and thought it was of interest to most members of
this list, so I translated it.
Quote
This is a very complicated thermodynamics problem:
The following question was made in a quarterly chemistry exam at the
Universidad Complutense de Madrid (Spain) :
The answer given by one of the students was so "deep" that the teacher
wanted to share it with his colleagues, via the Internet, and here it is
for all to enjoy:
Question: is Hell exothermic (loosing heat) or endothermic (absorbing
heat) ?
Most students wrote their comments based on Boyle's Law (a gas gets
colder as it expands and hotter as it is compressed)
One student, however , wrote the following:
In the first place we need to know by what measure the total mass of
Hell varies with time. In order to do that we have to know the rhythm at
which souls enter Hell and the rhythm at which they leave it. I
understand, however, that once inside Hell, souls never leave it.
Therefore, nothing goes out. As for the souls that enter it, let us see
what the different religions have to say: most of them declare that if
you do not belong to them you will go to Hell. Given that there is more
than one religion that asserts this and given that people do not belong
to more than one, we may conclude that all souls go to Hell. With the
present rates of births and deaths, we can deduce that the number of
souls in Hell grows exponentially. Let us consider now how the volume of
Hell varies: according to Boyle's Law in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell remain stable, the volume should expand in proportion
to the number of souls entering it.
Therefore there are two possibilities:
1. If Hell expands at a speed less than the speed of entry of souls, the
temperature and pressure inside Hell will increase until it disintegrates.
2. If Hell expands at a speed greater than the speed of entry of souls,
the temperature and pressure will decrease until Hell freezes.
Which is the true possibility?
If we accept what Anna told me in my first year in college ("Hell will
freeze before I go to bed with you") and considering that I went to bed
with her last night, possibility number 2 is the true one. Consequently
we will accept as true that Hell is exothermic and that it is already
frozen. The corolary of this theory is, since Hell is already frozen, it
does not accept any more souls and, consequently it is extinguished,
leaving Heaven as the only proof of the existence of a Divine Being,
which explains why, last night, Anne could not stop shouting "Oh my God!"
Unquote
That student was the only one to get an A
Rafael Copquin
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