Penambah berita yagn dikirim Sunny..
Saya kutip omongan Imam Daayiee Abdullah
"By not allowing same-sex couples to wed, there is a direct attack on the
Qur'an's message that each person has a mate who is their 'comfort and their
cloak'"
---
BBC News UK
20 February 2011 Last updated at 07:38 GMT
British gay Muslims seek Islamic weddings
Adrian Goldberg By Adrian Goldberg Presenter, 5 live Investigates
gay women holding hands Like many gay people, British gay Muslims are pursuing
marriage
British gay Muslims are joining the global fight for equality and seeking gay
Islamic marriage. The BBC's 5 live Investigates speaks to one couple about
their 'nikah' - a Muslim matrimonial contract - and asks how they balance their
sexuality with the Islamic faith.
"We met about three years ago, at an iftar - a breaking of fast during Ramadan.
"I think a lot of Muslims find that time of year very spiritual and very
enlightening, and so I think that's why our relationship developed, because we
spoke about our faith."
"Eventually we went on a date."
Asra recalls the first time she met her partner, Sarah, three years ago. The
gay couple, who are also Muslim, are one of a growing number of gay, British
Muslims who have cemented their relationship with marriage - Islamic marriage.
Asra fondly remembers the moment Sarah proposed to her.
"After the first date, which was about an hour, Sarah casually asked me to
marry her."
Sarah interjects.
"I think it was more like four hours, after dinner, coffee and walking. I
didn't really plan it, but it just really seemed like the way it was between
us, I should try and keep it as pure as possible.
"That may sound strange being lesbians, but it felt like we should do it the
most honourable way we could."
The Muslim way
Asra and Sarah decided upon a 'nikah' - a Muslim matrimonial contract. Whilst
nikahs have traditionally been the reserve of heterosexual Muslims, Asra and
Sarah were aware that other gay Muslims had followed this route and the couple
decided to investigate further.
"A few friends said you don't really have to have an official Imam, but you
need someone who is knowledgeable enough about the Qur'an to do it.
Fortunately, one of our friends was, and she offered to do it. She's a lesbian
herself, and she said we could do it in her home."
Three months after the proposal, the big day came. Asra wore a white shalwar
kameez - a traditional Pakistani outfit - and Sarah a pink dress.
"I wanted to wear leather, but Asra wouldn't let me," she sighs.
"We got rings from Camden market, and we drew up contracts - we got a blueprint
off the internet of a heterosexual contract and we both looked at it
separately, to see if there were things we wanted to change."
"I remember I put about the dog - that if we broke up, Asra wouldn't steal the
dog."
Asra rolls her eyes and adds "we also did a dowry, of £5. It was a symbolic
thing and we've still got those £5 notes."
In attendance were six friends, who also acted as witnesses - "and a cat," says
Sarah.
The short ceremony was conducted in Arabic, and additional duas - prayers -
were read and the marriage was essentially no different from the nikahs
performed for straight Muslim couples all over the world.
Activists at a London Pride event in 2005 There is growing visibility of gay
Muslims in Britain, although not all are confident about coming out
But the Islamic faith vehemently rejects homosexuality, and the fact this nikah
was for a gay couple is highly offensive to the majority of Muslims - including
Asra's own parents.
"It's still very difficult for me to tell my family about my life being a
lesbian. They know I am a believer, they know I am religious, but going as far
as saying I am a lesbian is quite hard," Asra says.
"I remember thinking this is the only time I am going to get married, and my
family weren't there.
"That was constantly going through my mind - I am having an Islamic nikah,
doing as much as I can through my faith, but my family weren't there."
However, Sarah's relationship with her family is quite different.
"Because I wasn't born a Muslim - I converted five years ago - I think my
family is quite accepting of my sexuality. But sometimes it seems like they are
waiting for me to grow out of being a Muslim."
Gay Muslim voices
Sarah and Asra know their marriage is unorthodox, and the idea of a gay nikah
would be rejected by the majority of Muslim scholars, but Sarah says it is
nobody's business.
Continue reading the main story
"It is between me and God, and when we got married it was not ideal, but we
were doing our best."
However, there is a small but growing voice within the Muslim community
representing gay people, with the emergence of British gay Muslim support
groups such as Imaan and Safra Project.
One of the key advocates of Muslim gay marriage is the American Imam, Daayiee
Abdullah - who himself is gay. He has performed a number of gay nikahs in
America and has also advised gay British Muslim couples on how to perform the
ceremony.
He reasons that to deny gay Muslim couples the right to a religious union, goes
against teachings in the Koran.
Speaking to 5 live Investigates, he says: "Since Islamic legal precedence does
not allow same sexes to wed, Muslim societies make it a legal impossibility
within Islam [but] by not allowing same-sex couples to wed, there is a direct
attack on the Koran's message that each person has a mate who is their 'comfort
and their cloak'."
It is not just within the Muslim community that gay Muslim couples such as
Sarah and Asra have encountered hostility.
"I feel there's Islamaphobia within the gay community. It's something that
really worries me," says Sarah.
Continue reading the main story
LISTEN TO THE FULL REPORT
You can hear the full 5 live Investigates report at 2100 GMT on Sunday, 20
February on BBC 5 live
* Download the 5 live Investigates podcast
* Post comments on our Facebook page
* Tweet the 5 live Investigates team
Asra recalls a particularly unsavoury incident.
"There was an occasion at gay pride once where one of the marchers turned
around and quite crudely said 'we didn't know pride was allowing suicide
bombers on the march' - it was really shocking to hear it from a fellow gay
marcher."
But according to Sarah, it's not just Muslims who are rejected by the gay
community.
"I think there's a deep-rooted assumption in the secular queer community that
you can't be gay and believe in anything, apart from yourself or materialism."
Acceptance
However, gay unions are being integrated into wider British society even more -
and the government recently announced plans to allow churches in England and
Wales to host civil partnership ceremonies.
Ministers have pledged greater equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and
transgender people, but said no religious group would be forced to host the
ceremonies.
The Church of England has said it will not do so. Quakers have welcomed the
plans, with support also expected from Unitarians and Liberal Jews. But what
about the Muslim community?
"Homosexuality is not considered a halal way of living at the moment, so of
course there's going to be an extreme reaction to a gay nikah. So, as a
community we have to get tolerance before we can even attempt acceptance of
marriage," says Asra.
But she is hopeful for the future.
"I certainly know younger gay Muslims that are out to their families and their
families are absolutely fine with it.
"Same-sex nikahs are still a contentious issue, but all I can say is I have
done it, and I am completely comfortable and content with my faith and
hopefully people will think 'well, let me try and get to that place'.
You can hear the full report on 5 live Investigates on Sunday, 20 February at
2100 GMT on BBC Radio 5 live.
You can also listen again on the BBC iPlayer or by downloading the 5 live
Investigates podcast.
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