Quoting asantos ([EMAIL PROTECTED]):
> QED.
> _Paid_ professional help... I think I see your point.

tandardized Bonehead Reply Form


I took exception to your recent

     ___ post/spam to _________________________.

                          (newsgroup)

     _x_ email.



It was (check all that apply):

     _x_ lame.

     _x_ stupid.

     _x_ ignorant.

     _x_ much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you

         may be capable.



Your attention is drawn to the fact that:

   ___ What you posted/said has been done before.

        (Mark only if above checked)

        ___ Not only that, it was also done better the last time.

        ___ Your post/letter was a pathetic imitation of 

             _______________________.

                (net.personality)

        ___ You made a ridiculously off topic post to a newsgroup.

        ___ You made a ridiculously off topic post to numerous news groups.

    ___ Your post/mail originated on FidoNet.

    ___ Your post/mail originated on Netcom.

    ___ Your post/mail originated on AOL.

    ___ Your post referred to the newsgroup as a Board, BBoard, BBS, or 

        Notesfile.

    ___ Your post contained commercial advertising.

        THE FINE FOR THIS IS $20. Please send money order immediately to:

        or your posting privileges will be cancelled.

   

    ___ Your post/letter contained spelling errors.

    ___ Your post/letter contained grammatical errors.

    ___ Your POST CONTAINED EXCESSIVE CAPITALIZATION AND/OR PUNCTUATION!!!!!

    ___ You posted a "newgroup" message without Leader Kibo's permission.

    ___ You posted a "rmgroup" message without Bruce Becker's permission.

    ___ Your post/letter was an obvious forgery.

        (Mark only if above checked)

        ___ It was done clumsily.

        ___ And was easily traceable.

    ___ You posted someone else's email address and then referred to them as

        your "friend".

    ___ You have a lame login name.

    ___ Your machine has a stupid name.

    ___ You quoted an article/letter in followup and added no new text.

    ___ You quoted an article/letter in followup and only added ___ line(s)

        of text.

    ___ You quoted an article in followup and only added the line "Me,

        too!!!"

    ___ You predicted the "Imminent Death of the Net[tm]".

    ___ You asked for replies via email because you "don't read this group".

    _x_ You flamed someone who has been around far longer than you.

    _x_ You flamed someone who is far more intelligent and witty than you.

    ___ Your lines are 80 columns wide or wider.

    _x_ You failed to check the "Followups-To:" line.

        ___ And it included misc.test

    ___ Your .sig is ridiculous because (check all that apply):

    ___ Your .sig is longer than 6 lines.

        (Mark only if above checked)

        ___ And your newsreader truncated it.

    ___ You listed ___ snail mail address(es).

        (Mark only if above checked)

        ___ You listed a nine-digit ZIP code.

        ___ You included your nickname on IRC.

        ___ You listed ___ phone numbers for people to use in prank calls.

        ___ You included a stupid disclaimer.

            (Mark only if above also)

            ___ your pathetic attempt at being witty in the disclaimer

                failed.

                (Mark only if above also)

                ___ Miserably.

            ___ your .sig should make your company disclaim YOU.

    ___ You included: (Mark all that apply)

         ___ a stupid self-quote.

         ___ a stupid quote from a net.nobody.

         ___ a Bill Clinton quote.

         ___ a Dan Quayle joke.
         ___ a reference to Beavis & Butthead.

         ___ any reference to any TV talk show host.

         ___ a set of instructions for something as stupid as your post.

         ___ lame ASCII graphics (Choose all that apply):

             ___ USS Enterprise

             ___ Australia

             ___ The Amiga logo

             ___ Your company's logo

                 (Mark only if above also)

                 ___ and I stated that I don't speak for my employer.

             ___ A bicycle

             ___ ANY of The Simpsons

   

Furthermore:

_x_ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of

     [EMAIL PROTECTED]

                 (newsgroup)

___ You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the net.

_x_ You are a loser.

_x_ You must have spent your entire life in a skinner box to be this

    clueless.

___ *plonk*

_x_ All of this has been pointed out to you before.

_x_ It is recommended that you:  (Mark all that apply)

    ___ stick to FidoNet and come back when you've grown up.

    ___ find a volcano and throw yourself in.

    ___ get a gun and shoot yourself.

    ___ stop reading Usenet news and get a life.

    ___ stop posting to Usenet and get a life.

    _x_ stop sending email and get a life.

    ___ consume excrement.

    ___ consume excrement and thus expire.

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