[QUAD-L] ~part 1~DONKEY TRACKS" ~~ from: The White Donkey Society

[Jwmjimmy]

~part 1~DONKEY TRACKS" ~~ from: The White Donkey Society August 4, 2004             ~TRAILS of INSPIRATION~ Touch Me Lord http://mrmom.amaonline.com/touchme.htm    The Gift of Picking Up the Pieces http://www.angel9oh7.com/pieces.html                              ~TRAILS of WISDOM~ A quiet conscience sleeps in thunder.   -- English Proverb   "Bring your desires down to your present means.  Increase them only when your increased means permit." âAristotle"   It is certainly true that a popular government cannot flourish without  virtue in the people." --Richard Henry Lee   Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less,  breath more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more,  and all good things will be yours.   -- Swedish Proverb   "The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." -- Albert Einstein   "I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong." -- Abraham Lincoln               ~TRAILS of KNOWLEGE~           Tennis ball 'cures snoring'                                                                                         Scientists in Australia claim to have discovered that a simple tennis ball is the best cure for snoring.The Herald Sun says Melbourne researchers claim 80 per cent of snorers were cured when they wore a fabric sling with a tennis ball on their back. This forced them to sleep on their sides - also preventing a potentially life-threatening condition known as sleep apnoea. This is where a person stops breathing for a few seconds and often starts thrashing about.In such situations they can run the risk of having a heart attack.Austin Health researcher Dr Maree Barnes said a tennis ball could help in a half to two-thirds of apnoea cases linked to sleeping position. Although a tennis ball cure was first mooted in 1908, Dr Barnes says its success depends largely on the design of the sling it is held in."It's a fabric band that wraps around the waist, then straps over the shoulder, then the tennis ball is in a pouch that is attached to the waistband," she said. "People may decide to sew a little pouch on the back of a T-shirt. The trouble is that may slip around because most T-shirts aren't skin-tight."  She also said patients should seek the advice of a doctor before trying the treatment. ---   ---    ---    ----     ---    ---     ---     ---     ---              What is the deepest lake in the United States? We went fishing for your answer and it lead us to the LUKOL Oregon Guide which asserted in indisputable manner that Crater Lake in Oregon is the deepest lake in the United States at 1,932 feet (589 meters). The United States Geological Survey (USGS) confirmed this fact and also told us that the lake is located in a caldera formed approximately 7,700 years ago by the eruption and subsequent collapse of Mount Mazama, a volcano in the Cascade Range. Just for curiosity's sake we also searched on deepest lake world. The honor is held by Lake Baikal in Siberia. It measures 5,315 feet (1,620 meters) deep.            ~TRAILS of HE-HAWS~ #1 A drunk gets on a transit bus. The driver, impatient while the drunk fumbles in his pocket for change, drives off. As the bus starts rolling, the drunk reacts to the sudden movement by stumbling all the way to the back of the bus.The bus stops at the next stop. He reacts by stumbling to the front of the bus.Still the man is fumbling in his pockets for change. The bus jerks forward once again, and the drunk stumbles uncontrollably to the back of the bus. Next stop, the same thing happens. Every time the bus stops, the man would stagger to the front. Every time the bus starts, he staggers uncontrollably to the back. A few stops later the drunk exits the bus from the front. "Hey", shouts the bus driver... "You didn't pay your fare yet!" The drunk, reeling, shouts back "Why should?!..... I walked all the way!"  #2 A Blonde And A Brunette Are Running A Ranch Together In Louisiana. They decide they need a bull to mate with their cows to increase their herd. The brunette takes their life savings of $600 dollars and gets on  a bus and goes  to Texas to buy a bull. She eventually meets with an old cowboy that will sell her a bull. "It's the only one I've got for $599, take it or leave it." She buys the bull and goes to the local telegram office and says, "I'd like to send a telegram to my friend in Louisiana that says: Have found the stud bull for our ranch, bring the trailer." The man behind the counter tells her, "Telegrams to anywhere in the U.S. are $.75 per word." She thinks about it for a moment and decides. "I'd like to send one word, please." "And what word would that be?" inquires the man. "Comfortable." replies the brunette. The man asks, "I'm sorry miss, but how is your friend gonna understand this telegram?" The brunette replies, "My friend is blonde and reads REAL slow, when she gets this, she will see COM-FOR-DA-BULL." #3 It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!" The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said "Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?" Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Private wasn't going to disagree with the General, so the he saluted again and replied "Sir, Yes Sir!". The General continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?" The Private didn't agree, but them the private was just a private, and responded "Sir, Yes Sir!" The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train." The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said "Sir, Yes Sir!" The General continued "I got this dog for my wife." The Private simply said "Good trade Sir!" #4 The Sunday before Christmas, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money. He asked the people to consider donating a little more than usual into the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in the offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly, saintly looking lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanks asked her to pick out three hymns. Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."              ~part 2 continued~

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