ï
That is what I want...the cuddling, kissing, holding at night. Even though
I have those sensations, I don't care if I can't have the above. that is
what counts. You are fortunate to have someone to love and love you
back.
Stacy
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Saturday, January 01, 2005 12:56
AM
Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Frustration
I've been following this thread for a while now. I find it curious
how things work out - I have had full sensation with very little motor
function since 1967. I've had a full life with lots of sensations and
now I'm at the point where the thrill is gone and although I fantasize how
good it would be with a 'new' woman, I will not compromise what I have now for
a fling. My wife of 31 years is experiencing diminished desires because
of lupus, arthritis, and fibro myalgia and I find going uncathed always
results in a big mess. We are at the point now where just getting up
daily and functioning 'normally' is a large accomplishment. Everything
we do as far as regular daily activities is about all we can manage. We
do hug, kiss, and cuddle at night, but a good night's sleep is pretty high on
our list of pleasures. (And a good dump is a close second.)
The sex act served it's purposes of making us close and procreating the
species, but now it has become more of a burden than a pleasure. (There
are a few parts of procreating that bring more pain than pleasure - it's not
all roses. Skipping it isn't such a loss as you might
imagine. ) I think I can understand the frustration of feeling
incomplete as far as enjoying God's primary directive, and for that I
truly grieve with you. If you have ever tried an illegal drug and
decided that no matter how great it felt, you just couldn't keep going there
because it wasn't normal for you, having and losing sex is a similar
loss. I am truly grateful for all you great friends here on the qlist
who have taught me, more than you will ever know.
God bless, and have a great '05.
Dave
In a message dated 12/31/2004 9:07:41 P.M. US Mountain Standard Time,
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
I do have those feelings yes. I don't understand it though because I
don't have feeling in my legs, but I do in those areas. I'm not sure to what
extent because I haven't 'been' with anyone since I got sick. Of course
I have experimented, but don't really have any desire to and I
think when or at this rate if I am with anyone, that is when I will
know. I do have a sore on the bottom of my foot and that
hurts me as well. I don't get it. My doctor said that the nerves
to your pelvic area are the most protected on the spine so if I were to feel
anywhere, it would be there. I do get sporadic sensations on my legs
but never in the same places all the time. My doctor also told me that
with my disease, it makes things very strange. No SCI is the same, but
I am very much different because of the way it happened. I don't know
if I ever explained it but my spine is very atrophied because of the disease
and the damage left over from the inflammation the spine is still very much
intact. I still sweat below my injury level, but the swelling is quite
bad and I have more spasticity than most spinal cord patients.
I'm having a hard time going through the holidays single. Most of my
friends are married and/or have children. I don't have hardly any
family and didn't have them here for Christmas and now alone for New
Years. I find myself very left out because I donât have anyone.
One of my best friends pretty much only does things with other
couples. Like going out to dinner, playing cards, etc. She helps
me through the waiver program, so the time we spend together is when she is
here helping me out with something. She just got in an accident and
her car got totaled plus she got a broken arm. I can't get into her
new car because it's too low and awkward to transfer out of, so we don't
really do anything together anymore. It's been difficult getting
through the holidays and will be glad when they are over. I'm just not
looking forward to the next 6 weeks while everyone is making their
valentines day arrangements.
I am happy that everything is going well for you and Steve. When
the time is right, everything will happen naturally. It's wonderful
that he isn't pushing you into anything you are not ready to do. Keep
taking it slow.
Sorry for the book,
Stacy
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Thursday, December 30, 2004
5:05 PM
Subject: Re: [QUAD-L]
Frustration
I
did think about going to that step, but I wasn't fixated on it. I
was content just having the closeness at the time. It's the
hugging, kissing, and cuddling that I miss so much instead of the act
itself.
Hi Stacy,
I totally agree with you, even though I'm still with Steve it's the
kissing, cuddles and hugs that I crave. Although we have talked a
lot lately about taking the relationship further, we've been together for
5months now so I don't think we would be rushing into it, and his been so
tolorant with it all bless him! I'm abit nervous about it all
though, it's going to be the first time all round for me. I hope
this isn't a too personal question, and if it is I do apologise, but to
the females especially; do you still have the sexual sensations? I'm
a bit worried that I won't be a "proper women" if I don't feel everything
![]()
Happy new year folks!
Love Smurf xxx
The
moral flabbiness born of the bitch goddess Success. That- with the squalid
cash interpretation put on the word success- is our national disease.
-William James
1906
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