Hey all, I had to jump in here I do agree with Stacy people look at the chair first, I have Cerebral Palsy and limited use of my arms and legs because of the Spasms not letting me do a lot of simple things Like tie my shoes. Then I listen to some of you all and I should not complain at all I am lucky and I know it!!! But relationships in general have been tough for me because of my Disability!!
Hugs, Sharon. ----- Original Message ----- From: Stacy Harim To: quad-list ; dillon awe Sent: Tuesday, February 08, 2005 3:56 PM Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] My theory Dillon, I'm a para (T 7/8). I have been in the chair for 4 years and have only dated one guy for a very short time. I think he couldn't handle the chair personally. I don't know about your theory. Of course I can do more on my own. I live alone, not quite driving yet, go to school and push myself around. I don't think that you theory is quite accurate. If a quad and a para are sitting next to each other then yes, the para would have the better chance, yet in a normal situation in general public you would probably see one or the other. People can be very superficial and see the wheelchair. And at that point a chair is a chair. I'm sure that a lot of people don't look at a quad and think "well if they could move their arms more or they were a para then I would date them." It's a wheelchair and that's all they see. I think that I am an attractive person. I take care of myself and think that I am fairly OK to look at and haven't gotten near the attention that I used to. Honestly I haven't been hit on since I got sick. And River, I feel exactly the same way as you. I know that para's can transfer themselves without the board. They just hop right over. I hear about it from people all the time. They tell me how they know someone in a chair and what they do and I feel inferior sometimes. Like why can't I do any of those things? Then I think I am not them. I am me and this is what I can do. I would only hope that you feel the same way about it. ----- Original Message ----- From: dillon awe To: quad-list Sent: Monday, February 07, 2005 8:58 PM Subject: [QUAD-L] My theory I have a theory about sexuality and spinal cord injuries. I believe that the lower the injury level or higher the function is for SCI individuals the more attractive women or men will be to that person. Though I hold no grudge against paraplegics or low level quadriplegics, I think it is so much easier to introduce yourself to women and break the ice as well as develop a relationship when that person is not confronted with a bulky electric chair etc.. I might be wrong and I hope I am but does it not just seems paraplegics have it so much easier. Not only from personal observation but in advice columns I read, magazines and even on the covers of disability magazines, all I see or read about his couples who are paraplegics or low level quadriplegics/higher functioning. I never read about quadriplegics with very little function either through their neck or upper arms getting the girl. What do you think? Please prove me wrong Dillon
