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And when we come back from LaLa Land ... wouldn't it be
great?
All these "wouldn't it be great?" chain emails are so old or so
cliche'
Gee,
Wouldn't it be great if we all shared the same creation
theory so we'd all be on the same page?
Woluldn't it be great if we KNEW an SCI or Cancer cure was to
happen in 4 years for
every one?
Wouldn't it be great if ...............?
More blood has been spilled because of (or in the name itself
of) Jesus the Christ than any world war and
small wars combined!
It'd be more fun or essential to blame him (since he's dead
and can't/won't or doesn't defend HIMSELF) than Bush.
Like Klinton and Karter and so many others, Bush will have his time
and then be gone. Then
we'll be on another bandwagon of character assassination for
whomever is next to be so
unlucky to get a job TO PLEASE EVERY ONE.
Whoever GETS that position HAS to wear asbestos underwear
daily.
Wouldn't it be great if all the ~perfect world tomorrow~ chain
emails would stop?
Lori
-------Original
Message-------
Date: 06/05/05
18:35:35
Subject: [QUAD-L]
This ought to start something
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND
HEAR THE
FOLLOWING SPEECH?
My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has
been
completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more
money
on this war, our mission in Iraq is now
complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal
of all American
forces from Iraq. This action will be complete
within
30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the
names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq
conflict. This list is short.
The United Kingdom, Spain,
Bulgaria, Australia, and
Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first
list. Most of the
world's nations are on that list. My press
secretary
will be distributing copies of both lists later
this
evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately,
foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases
immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during
the first year alone will pretty much pay for the
costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour
money
into third world Hell-holes and watch those
government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an
epidemic?
Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work
to
redirect this money toward solving the vexing
social
problems we still have at home. On that note, a word
to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will
hunt you down and eliminate you and all your
friends
from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try
France, or maybe
China.
To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo,
boys.
Work out a peace deal now. Just note that
Camp David
is closed. Maybe all of you can go
to Russia for
negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
tables, too. I am ordering the immediate severing
of
diplomatic relations with France, Germany,
and
Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to
begin
towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in
Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking
tickets
to sites where those vehicles will be stripped,
shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever
treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of
thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
tomorrow or watch your precious
Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of
the finest chop shops in the world. I love
New York
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on
List
2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each
other, you folks might want to try not pissing us
off
for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his
entire corrupt government really need an attitude
adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and
infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I
am
going to put em? Yep, border security. So start
doing
something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating
the
NAFTA
treaty - starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway.
It is time for America to focus on its own
welfare
and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of
isolationism. I answer them by saying,
"darn tootin."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a
decent life around the
world has only earned us the undying enmity of just
about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate
hunger in America. It is time to
eliminate
homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate
World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on
List
1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we
won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop
dead.
God bless America.
Thank you and good night.
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are
reading it in English,
thank a soldier.
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