I guess my main objection to your philosophy is that it sounds a lot like my dear departed father. I always viewed his "buck up" attitude towards me as his dis-interest in sympathizing or understanding or comforting one in a tough time. Those types of responses take time to deal with and reason through, and after all, it was MY problem, not his. He just wasn't one to express any loving and caring emotions verbally. He never once said he loved me - even though I know for sure he did by his actions. People like that view compassion as a weakness and prefer not to deal with those emotions. People like that also miss a lot of real life. When we'd fall down, he'd say, "I don't feel anything, it didn't hurt ME." That was not a comforting thing to hear. His lack of interest in my problems was something I just didn't need in my life and I think (AND thought at the time), !
saying
nothing would have been more comforting than, "buck up." I don't like hearing "you will never walk again so buck up" because there are a lot of less abrasive ways to say it with the same meaning.
Dave
Aaron Mann <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
You guys really confuse me. I share what worked for me and I get all sorts of slack, but you give your opinions and thoughts and it's all OK. And, yes, I do deal with depression too."the worst thing that somebody can say is to get over it and get on with your life" - This is what works for ME, that's what makes what I said MY opinion. I grew up under the "buck up" philosophy and live that way.Back to the original poster: I do hope you take something from our input. If none of our methods or advice help, then please seek professional help.
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Saturday, July 16, 2005 9:38 AM
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [email protected]
Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] i'm so depressed i could throw up![]()
I agree with you Dave, that was a very shallow response that Aaron did. It proves that he also has issues and might be suffering from some depression himself with an answer like that. When I joined this list approximately two years ago the people on here were caring and loving and wanting to help each other. Now, somebody posts something and a few people have to tear them apart like it was the worst thing that ever happened. The depression is nothing to play with and the worst thing that somebody can say is to get over it and get on with your life. Life is always not an easy when you are able-bodied and when you became a quadriplegic can depend on everybody else it's that much easier and there are times that I even feel depressed because of the lifestyle.We live in the greatest nation in the world so why would anybody even compare us to a poor nation with quadriplegics with no wheelchairs or medication or anything like that. Why do we have to live like they do when we're giving billions of dollars for foreign aid and still cutting our aid here in United States for people like us that truly needed. There is not one person on this list that would not give anything to be able to walk again and if they are saying that they enjoyed this lifestyle they are either lying or have bigger issues than the most of us.Jim
Dave
(what's a quad?)
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