Sad News
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost
went unnoticed last week.
Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.
Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.
They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started. . .
Shut up. You know it's funny.
Headlines from 2029
1. Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest
country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
2. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
3. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
4. Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
5 Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East
(formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
6. Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before
radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
7. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
8. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
9. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail
delivery to Wednesdays only.
10. 85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
11. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
12. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
13. Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
14. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters
and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
15. Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions
to campaign accounts.
16. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
17. Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
