‘I ain’t a pretty boy no more’
April 24, 2007
BY ROGER EBERT Film Critic
My Ninth Annual Overlooked Film Festival opens Wednesday night at the
University of Illinois at Urbana, and Chaz and I will be in attendance.
This year I won’t be speaking, however, as I await another surgery.
I have received a lot of advice that I should not attend the
festival. I’m told that paparazzi will take unflattering pictures,
people will be unkind, etc.
Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. As a journalist I can take it
as well as dish it out.
So let’s talk turkey. What will I look like? To paraphrase a line
from “Raging Bull,” I ain’t a pretty boy no more. (Not that I ever
was. The original appeal of “Siskel & Ebert” was that we didn’t look
like we belonged on TV.)
What happened was, cancer of the salivary gland spread to my right
lower jaw. A segment of the mandible was removed. Two operations to
replace the missing segment were unsuccessful, both leading to
unanticipated bleeding.
A tracheostomy was necessary so, for the time being, I cannot speak.
I make do with written notes and a lot of hand waving and eye-
rolling. The doctors now plan an approach that does not involve the
risk of unplanned bleeding. If all goes well, my speech will be
restored.
So when I turn up in Urbana, I will be wearing a gauze bandage around
my neck, and my mouth will be seen to droop. So it goes.
Won’t be hiding illness
I was told photos of me in this condition would attract the gossip
papers. So what?
I have been very sick, am getting better and this is how it looks. I
still have my brain and my typing fingers.
Although months in bed after the bleeding episodes caused a lack of
strength and coordination, the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago
restored my ability to walk on my own, climb stairs, etc.
I no longer use a walker much and the wheelchair is more for
occasional speed and comfort than need. Just today we went for a long
stroll in Lincoln Park.
We spend too much time hiding illness. There is an assumption that I
must always look the same. I hope to look better than I look now. But
I’m not going to miss my festival.
Comfiest seat in the house
Why do I want to go? Above all, to see the movies. Then to meet old
friends and great directors and personally thank all the loyal
audience members who continue to support the festival.
At least, not being able to speak, I am spared the need to explain
why every film is “overlooked,” or why I wrote “Beyond the Valley of
the Dolls.”
Being sick is no fun. But you can have fun while you’re sick. I
wouldn’t miss the festival for anything!
P.S. to gossip rags: I have some back pain, and to make it easier for
me to sit through screenings, the festival has installed my very own
La-Z-Boy chair.
Photos of me in the chair should be captioned “La-Z-Critic.”
