Hello:-) The content of your mail is loud and clear. Though you didn't address anybody, looks like you are referring to my mail. Be clear that, I didn't condemn anybody. In one sense I condemned myself. I wanted to verify, if I am suffering some kind of mental syndrome or not. I just described real fact of life. I can not and don't want to pretend. Whatever happened, that has happened. Whatever annoying my mind, I just bailed out that in this quad-list. And that's the purpose of this list. You have opined your view, that's fine. That's the quad-list is for. Don't feel pity (though I didn't ask for that). I am fighting 16th year of my quadriplegic life, wont need any sympathy or pity to continue further. Please take care :-)
Yours, Shahidul Alam On Thu, Apr 30, 2009 at 12:47 AM, Merrill <[email protected]> wrote: > My response below has bothered me since posting. It was not meant to be > non-caring, but rather an honest spontaneous response to look in rather than > to condemn others because they appear unapproachable. To start by groping > people as ab has alienated a segment of people assumed to be them. This > might be an initial stumbling block to knowing others who are not like you. > In the same sentence is the assumption of grouping wheelchair dependant > people as “us”. The ground work for social failure has been set by grouping > and assuming. > > > > Church has always been a place referred to as a place for meeting others. > If getting there is a problem perhaps letting people there know this. Speak > with the minister, post bulletins or even make a request in the Sunday hand > outs. > > > > Last summer I was also in a similar frustrated sense of needing to get out, > or more importantly to know someone to get out with. In desperation I > posted an inquiry on Craigslist.Com that a disabled male of my age wished to > meet someone wanting to go out on day trips and rides. It was a gold mind > of meeting people throughout the summer. > > > > When you can no longer tolerate the isolation, and realize that what and > how you’ve been thinking is not working, you then open the door for > inspiration to an idea which just might open doors. > > > > Merrill > > > ------------------------------ > > *From:* Merrill [mailto:[email protected]] > *Sent:* Monday, April 27, 2009 3:45 PM > *To:* [email protected] > *Subject:* FW: [QUAD-L] Re: Paul... You made it! Congrats > > > > Sounds like a small case of pitty potty. People deserve more credit than > you stereo type. Sure, a percentage of what you say is true if not given a > chance, but I could not exist if what you say was true. Wake up and smell > the coffee, then share it with an AB > > > ------------------------------ > > *From:* Shahidul [mailto:[email protected]] > *Sent:* Sunday, April 26, 2009 6:48 AM > *To:* Quad > *Subject:* Re: [QUAD-L] Re: Paul... You made it! Congrats > > > > Hi Dana:-) > > Many many thanks for your many productive advice and also for telling a lot > about you. I wish I could hear many others stories. When we hear these > stories they reduce our loneliness. You are lucky in many way. You have some > to spend some time with. I mean your mother and your friend. I have my > mother staying under the same roof with me in a separate room. But she is > reluctant about any of my problems. Her attitude is, it's better that God > should take one away instead of putting him into a helpless situation. > Although she never mentioned me. > > Anyway, I tried dating4disabled.com, but alas... never got any interest > from anyone. I think reason behind it is I am not from USA. > > Please take good care :-) > > Yours, > > Shahidul Alam > > On Fri, Apr 24, 2009 at 10:36 PM, <[email protected]> wrote: > > It is correct that not many ab's want to deal with us. I have one really > good friends that is a wonderful person he takes me out twice a week on his > days off. I spent a lot of time with mother who lives a block away. I just > accept this and realize that that is the way most people are. It's nothing > against you, but the most A.B. are not acclimated on how to deal with > persons with disabilities other than sympathy. I meet people from time to > time that are. I had a really girl that took me to Bible study. When she had > family problems and could no longer take me to church, no one else from the > church would volunteer to do. When I lived in a smaller town, that church > took me to Sunday services and a Bible study in the home of the man that > took me to Sunday services. My best friend from high school still comes > about once or twice a year to visit from Iowa, which is four hours away. > > > > There are people that will but they are few and far between. Don't give up > hope. Try to get involved in going to church. > > > > I'm sure I would feel very alone without my best friend that takes me out > and driving to my mom house when the weather is nice. When he was married > for a short time, my mother lived in another city as a nanny. You just have > to keep busy and not value yourself through how abl click e bodied people > deal with you. It is their problem not yours. You can meet people through > websites such as dating4disabled.com. Some are disabled and some are not. > A lot of people will write. There is also a website called disabled > United.comI have met people through both sites. There are people from all > over the world and probably your country. I have never met anyone, just > talked to them. These sites are both free. > > > > I will pray for you about this. I believe the Lord will help us with > whatever we need, if we just ask him. I don't know your religion, that reach > out to with what it can offer. My faith really does help me cope. I have > just started reading the Bible and there is so much to learn. It's really > hard to feel alone. My best friend was absent for two years, when he was > married to a bipolar woman, which didn't last. Families don't often have > time for you. They are busy with their own families. > > > > Thank you for sharing your feelings. Hopefully others will have their ideas > as to how they cope with their disabilities and their feelings of isolation > from the world. > > > > Feel free to write me anytime. > > > > DanaHi Paul:-) > > Same here. Diving accident, C5/6. Just 2 years later in 1993. > > Was wondering, what kind of problems you are having at this stage of life ? > I am having serious mental problem while mixing with AB's. I feel that they > think me very different, a person who is only a burden. Their attitude says > "Ohh, poor fellow...". My old friends forgot and ignored me long time back. > I couldn't find any AB, who will talk to me normally. Any discussion always > lead to my disabled condition. I feel very lonely in this world. Is it some > kind of syndrome ? > > >
