See responses in red On Mon, Apr 2, 2018 at 8:06 AM, Quad Dude <[email protected]> wrote:
> Hello Ed, > > Thank you so much for your detailed response. This is exactly the input I > was seeking. > > Regarding the use of cock rings, along with erection assistance with > either ED drugs, manual stimulation, or a vacuum pump, does the ring enable > a uniform, stable erection? Yes...Though the degree of time certainly > varies. > I've heard some complain of a hinging effect. using more than one ring in different positions can help, such as above the testicles and below the crown of the penis, and experimenting with rings of different sizes and constriction is important. There are also multi- interconnected ring products that place of variety of rings along the shaft of the penis. it so important to experiment with lots of alternatives and figure out what works. recently I've been experimenting more with thicker rings and ones that actually provide shaft support https://www.kisskiss.ch/en/double-cock-ring-with-penis-support How long can the ring be worn per session, and is there a recommended waiting peroid between sessions? several sites recommend limiting use to 30 minutes at a time. > > When taking Levitra, you said it normally kicks in around 35-40 minutes > later. How long does it last once it kicks in? Does it simply create an > ongoing erection, or is some sort of continuous stimulation required to > maintain the effect? for me it remains effective for 30 to 45 minutes. > However with continuous stimulation, and the occasional break, I've been > able to say consistently hard as long as two hours. I haven't been willing > to push it anymore than because of the drug warnings that indicate a person > should seek medical help if an erection lasts longer than four hours. > > I see in your signature that your injury level is C5-6. Do you have much > penile sensation? I don't have any tactile sensation. I can feel some > deep pressure, tension and spasticity. As I get more around I can feel some > body wide flashes of heat and electricity. I know that sounds very vague > but these sensations are definitely pleasurable even though they are subtle > and inconsistent. > > I note you make a distinction between orgasm and ejaculation. Is your goal > generally both or one or the other, and if not both, why the one? For me > orgasm and ejaculation is almost always the same thing. However, because > quad ejaculations can be a fickle thing (if I have a low amount of > spasticity or a lot of fatigue, no amount of effort or creativity can get > me off), I don't always go into sex determined to ejaculate. I'd say I'm > only trying to build up to ejaculation half the time my wife and I have > sex. It might be even less than that for masturbation (I've become a fan of > "edging" which is a masturbation technique that's growing in popularity > with nondisabled people that focuses on stimulation-- usually combined with > porn-- but not ejaculation. Basically it's self pleasure without the cum- > something that's definitely within the quad wheelhouse). In that case I'm > just looking to enjoy the excitement, intimacy, mental experience, etc. > Even though my orgasms focus on ejaculation, there is a lot of testimony out there that orgasms can be triggered by any part of the body and even, in extreme cases, by purely mental exercise. One often repeated example is a quad that could experience orgasm by having his partner suck his thumb. I experimented with this in my mid-20s, about 10 years after my accident, with an older partner who was also a nurse and very supportive about exploring the limits of my sensation how to maximize my pleasure. Just by stimulating me Above my injury line, mostly focusing on my neck and ears, she was able to trigger a holistic pleasurable climax that was very similar to the sensations I feel upon ejaculation. This was a revelation and very exciting, but it took a lot of time, focus and technique to really pull off. It was something subsequent partners didn't excel at and I gradually lost interest. It's only been recently, as my aging SCI issues have accumulated and I was sidelined by several kidney stone operations, that my wife and I have been trying to repeat that experience. we're not there yet, but it's still fun trying. In my mind I'm thinking orgasm without ejaculation would be fine given that > I'm not looking to procreate, but perhaps I'm missing something in the > sensations and mechanics that makes ejaculation an equal if not more > desirable goal? definitely go online and read up on orgasm without > ejaculation and that might point you in some interesting directions. there > is certainly nothing second-class about orgasms initiated in some other > part of the body. in fact, some people report that there is a much bigger > range in the variety of orgasms that most people think, and variety is the > spice of life. > > Is orgasm, when achieved, the same as you remember preinjury? Orgasm was > definitely more pleasurable before my injury. Although the endorphin rush > and the pleasure of release is very similar, the pleasurable tactical > buildup of sensation is missing. My partners learn to compensate for this > to some degree by extra stimulation above my injury line, especially neck > and ears. That said, what I get to experience now is still damn fun. :-) > > My injury level is C4 and I have very little genital sensation, so I'm not > sure if I could even get to the point of orgasm even with sufficient > stimulation. Mostly interested in erection options to add variety to my > lovemaking ability. Oral sex is great and I'm happy to oblige, but as the > old saying goes, variety is the spice of life! > > I really appreciate all your information and willingness to answer > follow-up questions. > > Steve - C4, 30 years, auto accident > > On Sat, Mar 31, 2018 at 6:38 PM, Ed Tessier <[email protected]> wrote: > >> I have tried just about everything but implants. The vacuum pump >> definitely works, but the couple partners I used it with found it awkward >> and a bit of a chore. An easier option for some is just using a typical >> cock ring. When a pump draws blood into the penis, it is a cock ring that >> actually holds that pressure in place. Well, many quads get a "reflexive >> erection," that is, temporary stiffness from physical contact. A lot of us >> take advantage of this reaction when putting on external condoms/leg bags. >> Applying a cock ring at this point "locks in" the blood and hence the >> erection and thereby maintains it, often long enough, for intercourse. I >> don't have enough use of my hands to put the ring on myself, but my >> partners haven't seemed to mind since it is a pretty quick and easy >> process. In my experience, it does seem to make ejaculation less of a >> likelihood. There are other kinds of devices that do the same thing as a >> ring, but might be easier to use, such as lassos and Velcro straps. I >> recommend going online and ordering a variety of devices (they usually are >> not very expensive) and seeing which one works best for you. >> >> As for Viagra and Cialis and Levitra, they have all worked for me. I >> didn't like Cialis because it could extend my reflexive erection when sex >> wasn't on the agenda. Also, the big selling point for Cialis is that you >> take it regularly so that when the chance for some spontaneous sex comes >> up, you are ready. For quads, I don't think the terms spontaneous and sex >> really go together. Quad sex requires planning and communication. It's >> about getting in bed with somebody's help, removing the leg bag or >> catheter, cleaning up right, positioning, etc. All that takes time. You can >> take Viagra or Levitra before you lay down, and by the time you're ready to >> play around, it will have done its job (for me it takes about 30 or 45 >> minutes). Between Viagra and Levitra, I have found Levitra to be a little >> more dependable. They are both PDE5 inhibitors, so they shouldn't be that >> different, but for me, Levitra almost always results in a dependable >> erection. With Viagra, it just doesn't deliver one time out of every four >> or five usages. >> >> One complaint I do have for all of these medications is that they make it >> less likely I can achieve an ejaculation. I have heard this from a couple >> of other quads over the years. What I think is happening, is that the >> parasympathetic responses and spasticity that trigger ejaculation in quads >> are to some degree inhibited by the vascular inhibitors of the medications. >> So, taking the medication can mean getting a good erection for intercourse >> but, in my case, I go in knowing that it is principally for my partner's >> pleasure. I won't go in expecting a traditional orgasm for myself and >> simply focus more on the intimacy of the experience. >> >> I should also mention that erections and ejaculating for me have proven >> to be a moving target. Early after my injury as a teenager, simple >> masturbation could lead to an orgasm and oral sex almost always did. In my >> 30s, masturbation resulted less and less in ejaculation and oral sex with >> my partners was the only dependable route to ejaculation (here I am >> conflating ejaculation with orgasm, but there certainly are other paths to >> orgasm). Now that I am 50 and 30+ years after my injury, oral sex is >> pleasurable and can get me close, but now rarely leads to ejaculation. I >> now rely on vibrators to get the job done. I've used many, from the very >> expensive, like the ferticare medical vibrator, to the very old-school, the >> Hitachi Magic wand. These days, it is the magic wand that works best either >> for masturbation or playing with my wife. >> >> Sex with my wife and I now goes something like this. We start with making >> out and she touches my penis to provoke a reflexive erection. When it's at >> its peak, she will put on a cock ring and we will move on to intercourse. >> (If she is really looking forward to intercourse, she will have asked me >> earlier to "take a little blue pill" and the Levitra will let her ride for >> an extended period.) After she has enjoyed intercourse for a while (I think >> it's fun too even though I don't feel a lot), the ring comes off and we >> enjoy mutual oral sex. When I feel spastic pressure building (it's hard to >> explain but it feels like a body-wide tension that really needs >> relief/release) I'll tell her I'm ready for the magic wand. it usually >> doesn't take long with that to trigger an ejaculation, although, if it >> doesn't happen after a few minutes, we will give it a break and then try it >> again, which is usually successful. I have focused here on my pleasure, >> but, of course, my wife is enjoying her own orgasms along the way, which I >> probably enjoy giving her at least as much and maybe more than getting my >> own. >> >> All of this results in a pretty satisfying sex life, at least when I'm >> not struggling with kidney stones, chronic pain, work fatigue, my wife's >> chronic migraines, dealing with the kids, etc. Our persistence in keeping >> my ejaculations a part of our sex life also helped grow our family. Without >> going the clinic/in vitro route, we had two sons the natural way. (We also >> adopted two sons when we thought we weren't going to get pregnant. So yes, >> if you're doing the math, that means we have four boys ages 14, 12, 11 and >> 8. Before you tell me that's crazy, I totally agree, but that's life and >> it's crazy in a good way.) >> >> The biggest lesson I've learned about all of this stuff, it's that >> disability sex requires a dedicated effort. it means keeping an open mind >> to look for new solutions/approaches and to keep trying them out, even when >> a lot of things don't work. It means literally staying in touch with your >> own body to discover how it works and to maintain a self-image of >> sexuality. in my opinion, masturbation is super important, and porn and >> erotic stories are important tools since mental arousal must compensate for >> a decrease in arousal driven by physical stimulation. It means continuing >> the look for sexual partners even though putting yourself out there with a >> disability often results in a lot of rejection, because, everything you >> want to enjoy is easier with somebody's helping hand, and giving them >> pleasure is a huge source of pleasure in and of itself. Finally, it's >> incredibly important, especially as we age, to stay creative and be >> willing to change things up. Our bodies and even our disabilities are >> constantly changing. when something stops working, we need to start trying >> new things again until we find what works. >> >> I hope this long response was helpful. I really don't mind talking about >> this stuff because way back when I was in my rehab hospital post-injury, a >> disability advocate befriended me and shared many of the things that she >> had learned about sex and her own disability. I'm confident she saved me >> years of frustration and made it easier to pursue a satisfying sex life. >> >> cheers, >> >> Ed Tessier, C5-6 complete, 34 years post injury >> >> >> On Tue, Feb 13, 2018 at 7:35 AM, Quad Dude <[email protected] >> <http://t.link-url.io/?r=MTAwMA0KDQoNCmE1NDAwMDAwMDA2YTI0ZA0KbWFpbHRvOnRoZXF1YWRkdWRlQGdtYWlsLmNvbQ0KdHJ1ZQ0KdGhlcXVhZGR1ZGVAZ21haWwuY29t> >> > wrote: >> >>> I have a question for you guys out there. Quads are often unable to >>> attain or sustain a suitable erection for intercourse. Have any of you >>> utilized a vacuum pump or injections as a remedy? I've heard that the >>> vacuum pump can create a hinged effect that lessons its effectiveness. >>> Haven't heard any feedback on injections. Definitely would not consider >>> implants unless I had at least some sensation, which I do not have any. Do >>> any of the ED drugs like Viagra or Cialis work on quads? Very interested in >>> any feedback. Email me privately if you'd rather not respond to the full >>> list. >>> >>> Thanks… >>> >>> Steve - C4, 29 years, auto accident >>> >> >> >
