Sir Paul McCartney Takes on the Doofus Department and
Wins
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Commentary by Paul Watson
Sea Shepherd Conservation Society
The Canadian Department of Fisheries and Oceans (DFO)
is without a doubt the most incompetent, most
mismanaged, and most ridiculous bureaucratic
department of the Government of Canada.
For years, I have referred to them as the Doofus
Department or the Department of Fishy Business. With
their bevy of biostitutes and their legion of swivel
servants, the DFO have overseen the near total
destruction of commercial fisheries on both the East
and the West coasts of Canada.
I call DFO scientists biostitutes because they
provide the science to justify the political
policies of DFO.
It was these biostitutes who said that the Northern
cod populations were healthy right up to the day the
fisheries crashed. The cod fishery was so devastated
by overfishing that it will never recover the result
of a combination of bad science and bad politics.
They had not learned their lessons from the sixties
when the DFO experts said the same thing about the
pilot whales that Canada was slaughtering by the tens
of thousands to feed to mink. One day, the pilot
whales disappeared and the biostitutes mumbled
something about fluctuations of ocean currents leading
to a temporary movement of the whales elsewhere. The
trouble is, no one else ever saw them elsewhere and
they never returned to Newfoundland.
It is this same Doofus Department that we are now
expected to trust to manage the harp seals.
And now we have another shallow-brained Doofuscrat by
the name of Roger Simond graciously stating that Sir
Paul McCartney and his wife Heather will not be
charged with harassing a baby seal by petting it.
"When disturbance is of such a minor nature, you
wouldn't bring someone to
court on something like this," Simond said. "Somebody
would say that the Canadian government and the
Canadian taxpayers must have better things to do than
haul Paul McCartney into court because he touched a
seal."
Interesting. Last year, the Canadian government spent
a great deal of money prosecuting eleven of my crew
for the crime of approaching a seal being killed.
You see, in Canada, it is illegal to photograph, film,
or witness a seal being killed without permission from
the Doofus Department.
Last year, film crews from Sea Shepherd Conservation
Society, the Humane Society of the United States and
the International Fund for Animal Welfare were all
physically attacked by sealers. Sea Shepherd crew were
struck with clubs and bloodied.
No charges were laid because the Mounties said the
sealers were provoked into violence because of the
presence of anti-sealing people on the ice.
It would look pretty ridiculous indeed to charge Paul
McCartney with petting a seal after letting sealers
off the hook for clubbing people.
Already the Doofus Department has cost the Canadian
fishing industry tens of millions of dollars because
of the growing international boycott on Canadian
seafood products. How many hundreds of millions is
Canada prepared to lose in order to continue defending
the indefensible slaughter of seal pups?
The Minister of the Doofus Department Mr. Loyola Hearn
did not have the guts to defend the hunt himself on
CNNs Larry King program that featured Sir Paul
McCartney and his wife Lady Heather Mills McCartney.
Instead, they unleashed the embarrassment of Premier
Danny Williams who was clearly out-classed and
out-maneuvered by the McCartneys.
Williams denied that the club was used to kill seals
as video footage was simultaneously being shown,
illustrating quite vividly the seals being clubbed. He
kept trying to deflect the topic to other issues
including a lame attempt to remind people of
Newfoundlands support for America after 9-11. In
other words, we allowed your planes to land in our
province after 9-11 (because they had to land
somewhere) so how dare you Americans feel guilty for
even thinking that the seal slaughter was cruel.
Williams described himself as an animal lover who also
by the way supports bashing in the heads of seal pups.
He also clearly demonstrated that he himself knew less
about the seals and the seal hunt than Paul McCartney
who he kept insulting by calling him a stooge for the
terrorist anti-sealing organizations.
Doofus Spokesperson Roger Simond repeated this insult
when he said that Sir Pauls knowledge of the seal
hunt was limited to "a crash-course, Humane Society of
the United States brainwashing thing."
The most glaring indictment of the DFO as an
incompetent bureaucracy is the fact that they were
out-maneuvered, out-classed, and left looking
ridiculous by a former Beatle and his wife.
How much longer will Canada continue to defend the
cruel and bloody massacre of hundreds of thousands of
seal pups every year?
How much destruction must the environment suffer, how
many more fisheries must crash, and how many more
species decimated before something is done to stop the
ecological mayhem inflicted upon us by the arrogant
bureaucrats of the Canadian Department of Fisheries
and Oceans?
Captain Paul Watson is a Canadian and the Founder and
current President of the Sea Shepherd Conservation
Society, co-founder of Greenpeace, and a National
Director of the Sierra Club of the United States. He
is also the author of Seal Wars! He had been defending
seals for over thirty years.
P.O. Box 2616, Friday Harbor, WA 98250 (USA) Tel:
360-370-5650 Fax: 360-370-5651
Copyright © 2006 Sea Shepherd Conservation Society.
All rights reserved.
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