I hate those Beelzebugs! Thanks Chris for a good laugh!

// Lennart

On Thu, Aug 5, 2010 at 9:35 AM, Chris Hahn <[email protected]> wrote:

>
>
> The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take
> any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,  subtracting, or
> changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
>
>  Here are the winners:
>
>  1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
> financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
>
>  2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
>
>  3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you 
> realize
> it was your money to start with.
>
>  4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a  hillbilly.
>
>  5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
> ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
> of breaking down in the near future.
>
> 6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting
> laid..
>
>  7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
>
>  8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
> who doesn't get it.
>
>  9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
>
>  10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
>
>  11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
> bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
> serious bummer.
>
>  12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
> only things that are good for you.
>
>  13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
>
>  14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
> come at you rapidly.
>
>  15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
> accidentally walked through a spider web.
>
>  16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
> bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
>
>  17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
> the fruit you're eating.
>
>  The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly 
> contest,
> in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
>
>  And the winners are:
>
>  1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
>
>  2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one
> has gained.
>
>  3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
>
>  4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
>
>  5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
>
>  6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
> nightgown.
>
>  7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
>
>  8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
>
>  9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been
> run over by a steamroller.
>
>  10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
>
>  11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
>
>  12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
>
>  13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
>
>  14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
>
>  15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
> onto the roof and gets stuck there.
>
>  16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
> men
>
>
>

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