This may not seem like a test, but, believe me, it really is.
However, the best thing to do is to just read the material;
you will know within the first few items if it is worthwhile
to continue. I think you will agree that it is.
There is one question at the bottom of the following material
that can tell you -with no room for any doubt- whether
you are a true Radical Centrist.
-------------------------------------------------------
Selections from :
How to Tell a Democrat from a Republican
by: Leon Felkins
Conservative, n. - A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as
distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.
-- Ambrose Bierce
----------------------------------------
Abortion
* Democrats are generally for abortion. Unwanted pregnancy is -- like
addiction to drugs or alcohol, tardiness, and procrastination -- an
affliction and therefore needs to be treated by the government.
* Republicans are generally opposed to abortion unless of course it
is one's own daughter that got knocked up, in which case the decent thing to
do is to ship her off to some distant city where private but expensive
medical care can be provided and the local community is spared the details.
-----------------------------------
Crime
* Democrats know that when someone commits a crime, it is society
that has failed and should have to pay -- in the form of higher taxes and
reduced freedom.
* Republicans believe that every person inherently knows right from
wrong, whether they were raised by a harlot on the mean streets of East St.
Louis or by a wealthy Episcopal minister in the ritzy 'burbs of Germantown.
They know that the solution to violent crime is to beat the hell out of
the perpetrators.
------------------------------------------
Drugs
* Democrats
Democrats have no qualms about about recreational drugs. In fact they think
the use of such drugs is cool. However, medicinal drugs are another
matter. Since they think of the general populace as children, they want these
drugs highly regulated.
* Republicans
Recreational drugs are absolutely verboten according to the Republicans. It
is rumored that many folks actually have great fun with such drugs,
therefore they are opposed, of course, as it is a basic principle of
Conservatism
that having too much fun is bad for the character.
On the other hand, Republicans would allow you to prescribe and buy
medicinal drugs without constraint as the drug industry is quite profitable.
If
you use the wrong drug or a bit too much, then the subsequent repairs to
your body will again raise the national income just a bit.
Republicans support the consumption of vast quantities of alcohol even
though it kills more people by a factor of ten than all the "illegal" drugs
combined. This makes sense because while it may get you high and out of
control, technically it is not a "controlled substance".
-----------------------------------------------
Education
* Democrats are for universal government provided education and to
make it fair, all educational institutions must be equally bad. Of course
that only applies to the general population -- politicians send their own
children to private schools so that when they graduate they might actually be
prepared to make a decent living and they will not be biased against the
values of public education for the masses.
* Republicans support private education but do not see any reason why
the institutions shouldn't be government funded. They particularly like
the idea of religious or military schools that are better equipped to teach a
state of perpetual obedience.
------------------------------------------------
Environment
* Democrats see the "environment" as another means to control the
masses. Even if "Global Warming" only exists in the heads of some out-of-work
pacifists, it is certainly a powerful tool to keep the masses towing the
line. Further, it is an unbelievable sink hole for public funds. Have you
ever looked at what the asbestos scare cost?
* Republicans were a little late in appreciating the merits of
environmentalism and have therefore had to live with some bad press. However,
someone finally showed them how much money could be made by simply declaring
Freon 12 as the main cause of Global Warming from which billions were made
developing and selling a new coolant. This brought them around and now they
frantically trying to find the next common household product to ban -- like
toilets that use too much water.
----------------------------------------------------
Government Spending
* Democrats
Democrats make no excuses about massive government spending. For the
government to provide a happy, healthy, shameless, and even exciting society,
for everyone, regardless of their personal means, requires a massive amount
of cash from the citizens as well as all you can borrow. Further, to make
sure that no citizen gets into trouble and is in bed each night at a
reasonable hour, a huge government staff is a necessity. This, in turn,
requires
every dime the public can spare and just a bit more.
* Republicans
Republicans, in their hearts, and especially at campaign time, really would
like to cut back on government spending -- especially such luxuries as the
social, environmental, and health programs. But there are necessities that
it would be irresponsible to avoid. Such things as National Defense, which
requires a military budget far greater than any we have had in any major
war, can no more be cut back than you can cut back on helping the folks back
home that need a superhighway to the new park out in the country. These
are essential expenditures unlike the "feel good" stuff of the Democrats.
When Iraq threatens our shores by such hostile actions as flying one of their
planes over the southern half of their country, we better be ready for
action.
-----------------------------------------
Individual Liberty
* Democrats
Democrats are great believers in the concept of Liberty for all of
humanity. It's just that individual humans need to be restrained -- for their
on
good of course. It would be irresponsible to let an individual endanger
their health by eating greasy theater popcorn or drinking water from a
mountain
stream that some fish has peed in (and hasn't been tested by a government
agency). Sadly, when you face the reality, every aspect of human activity
must be controlled by the superior knowledge of the government bureaucrat.
That government bureaucrats themselves are sometimes accused of being human
is a fallacious argument as their holistic association results in superior
knowledge.
* Republicans
Republicans would like to give people lots of freedom especially those that
are economically active such the officers of large corporations and
farmers. However, some aspects of human nature just cannot go unpunished.
There
must be law and order. Violence must be stopped if we have to kill every one
of the sorry bastards. Republicans feel that they have the monstrous
responsibility of enforcing God's word. It is not a matter of public vote.
People who have unapproved sex, get high on anything (including testosterone)
except approved drugs such as alcohol, cigarettes, and caffeine, don't
regularly go to an approved church, allow their kids to kiss before they get
married, and talk smart to policemen that are dutifully beating the hell out
of
them, must receive appropriate punishment.
--------------------------------------
Military
* Democrats are very fond of the military as it is a vast receptacle
of funds and the defense industry has the reputation of being basically a
giant welfare program for mostly engineers and scientists, without which
millions of them would have to get a real job.
* Republicans also love the military for its capacity to absorb
unbelievably large quantities of money. Even more they appreciate the
importance
of importing American Justice to sometimes unreceptive countries by means
of our military.
-----------------------------------
Privacy
* Democrats believe in the sacred right of privacy as guaranteed by
our Founding Fathers. Unless, of course, it involves money, children, or
your conversation on the phone (it is well known that phones are sometimes
used by terrorists).
* Republicans see no particular reason why you would want privacy.
What's the matter: You got something to hide? If you are not doing anything
criminal, then privacy should not be a concern, according to them. Too much
privacy is a real hindrance to getting every one in jail that ought to be
there.
---------------------------------
Private Property
* Democrats believe that all property should be shared equally among
the people and enough to the animals to ensure their welfare (which they
can't do for the people as there is just not enough). To insure the proper
usage of property, the government, of course, must be the actual custodian of
the property. What you think is yours is actually only on loan to you and
may be recalled at any time. The whining of property owners that lose up in
the millions of dollars when the government declares that a piece of
property is needed for R&R for traveling geese is misplaced as it never
belonged
to these so-called property owners in the first place.
* Republicans, on the other hand, definately believe in the right to
private property as clearly enunciated by our Founding Fathers. But there
is one small catch: The Bible is older than the Constition and trumps it.
The bible points out very clearly, "When an ox gores a man or a woman to
death, the ox must be stoned; the flesh may not be eaten. The owner of the ox,
however, shall go unpunished", Exodus 21:28. That means that if your house
or your car or your bank account is in any remote way associated with a
crime, then it must be "stoned to death". The modern translation of "stoned to
death" is "given to the government".
--------------------------------------
Racial Issues
* Democrats believe all "minority" races to be "disadvantaged" and to
need government help. An exception is made for the Orientals because they
stubbornly insist on doing quite well for themselves and refuse to suck up.
They see minorities mainly as large block votes at bargain prices. Classes
should not be encouraged to mix as we need to retain each of their
cultures.
* Republicans have always been fond of the people of color as they
have been very well behaved house servants every since Lincoln freed them
from slavery. Classes should not be allowed to mix as an inferior offspring
will result. Some claim that hybrids in the animal world are usually superior
to their parents but this is easily answered as humans obviously are not
animals!
------------------------------------
Religion
* Democrats think religion is cool especially if it is "New Age",
ancient Native American superstitions, Far East shamanism, or African witch
doctors. What they can't stand are the low class, red neck religions like
Church of God and Southern Baptists.
* Republicans are in full support of religion and see it as every
citizen's duty -- as long as it is "main line". The definition of "main line"
is left up to the politicians, of course.
----------------------------------------
Sex
* Democrats are in full support of sexual activity, especially if it
is a little kooky. The concept of the old fashioned "male-female" sexual
interaction is best left to the lower animals.
* Republicans know that the purpose of sex is for procreation and not
pleasure. If you must have pleasurable sex, which by definition would be
outside of the marriage, then for God's sake have the decency to lie about
it!
---------------------------------------
Smoking
* Democrats consider any form of smoking of tobacco that is produced
by the large corporations to be evil. The only material acceptable for
smoking is marijuana or Native American ritual tobacco. If you are invited to
the home of one of your cool friends and are handed a joint, do not think
you have to eat it just because there is a sign on the wall that says, "Thank
you for not Smoking".
* Republicans think smoking is fine as long as it provides the
opportunity to ship large quantities of money to the subsidized tobacco
farmers
and producers. Of course the smoking of any "controlled substance" is not
permitted even if tobacco kills far more people. Because, it is the law, you
idiot. Republicans are for law and order. Lots of both.
------------------------------
War and other "World Cop" Activities
* Democrats, the "Peace Party", are strongly against war and other
police actions and will attempt to create legislation to limit presidential
powers and to influence public opinion -- during Republican administrations.
Of course, if the Democrats happen to be in charge, then such activities
are OK because their purpose is to stop violence and to "prevent further
suffering and bloodshed".
* Republicans, on the other hand, have no hesitation in bombing any
recalcitrant country (those that refuse to accept aid in return for
submission to U.S. control) "back to the stone age", unless, of course, the
Democrats are in power. In that case, they are opposed to such acts because
Democrats rarely have a decent "exit strategy". ("Exit Strategy" is a term
often
used in discussions of sexual activity. It is sort of the opposite to
"foreplay".)
----------------------------
Wealth
* Democrats believe in the concept of "equal distribution of wealth"
even if they happened to be hoarding quite a pile of it. They justify this
by the fact that to do their job requires that they live in a certain high
class style that allows them to associate with the influential.
* Republicans believe that hard work and the economic "invisible
hand" will make sure that anyone who deserves it gets it or the reverse as the
case may be. By definition, if you are broke and living off the street, you
deserve it.
===========================================
Question :
Did you laugh at everything ? Its OK if a few items were not all that
funny
to you, but only a few, but by-and-large did you laugh at everything ?
If your answer is "yes," CONGRATULATIONS !
-you are a certified Radical Centrist entitled to all the privileges and
perks
available at RC.org, aka, [email protected]_
(mailto:[email protected])
We welcome you to the fold.
If you did not laugh at everything, too bad, obviously you are brain
damaged
and in need or urgent medical attention or even a brain transplant.
--
--
Centroids: The Center of the Radical Centrist Community
<[email protected]>
Google Group: http://groups.google.com/group/RadicalCentrism
Radical Centrism website and blog: http://RadicalCentrism.org
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