The Odd Story of Romance  in 
Dreams From My Father





Jack Cashill
AmericanThinker.com - November 30,  2008  
I have as much faith in the hypothesis that follows as  astronomers do in 
the big bang or biologists do in evolution, so bear with me  please as I, 
like they, present my evidence in the indicative. 
The hypothesis is simple enough, namely that Barack Obama  needed 
substantial help to write his 1995 memoir, Dreams From My  Father, and that 
this help 
came from the man who has made “unrepentant” a  household word, Bill 
Ayers.  
For simplicity’s sake, I refer to the author of Dreams  as “Obama.” He 
provided the skeletal narrative and likely maintained executive  control. Ayers 
fleshed that narrative out, imposing, where useful, his  vocabulary, his 
rhythms, his style, his observations, his postmodern  perspective, his weary 
1960s weltanschauung, and, in some cases,  stories from his and other people’
s lives. 
For no obvious reason, the Ayers’ voice is particularly  pronounced in the 
recounting of Obama’s brief New York sojourn. In fact, Obama  often seems to 
be channeling the very thoughts and experiences of Ayers, who  lived in the 
city at the same time. More curiously still, Obama appears to  borrow the 
only romance in his otherwise sexless memoir directly from Ayers’  memory.  
The opening scene of Dreams, which unfolds in the  early 1980s in and 
around Obama’s New York City apartment, offers a prime  example of the Ayers’ 
influence. The cited location on East 94 Street is where  Obama actually 
lived. How he lived is at least partially imagined. Ayers knew  enough to do 
so. 
During his decade underground, he dwelled in many such places.  “Gloria met 
me at the Port Authority bus terminal,” he writes of one New York  
rendezvous in his impressive 2001 memoir, Fugitive Days, “and whisked  me away 
to a 
safe apartment she'd rented uptown.”  
 
Ayers fondly recalls the moments he shared in one  humble apartment with 
his then lover, Diana Oughton. “We made tortillas from  scratch on Sundays in 
our little sloping kitchen on Felch Street,” he writes. “A  week's worth of 
homemade tomato sauce simmered hot and happy on the stove, a  mountain of 
chopped onions and garlic sizzled in the skillet.”  
Cooking metaphors run through all of Ayers’ work. In his 1993  book, To 
Teach, for instance, he describes his class’s engagement with  cultural study 
as a “thick stew.” Similarly in Dreams, Obama describes  “the stew of voices”
 heard in an evening with his extended family, one of seven  references to “
stew” in Dreams.  
The small New York apartment that Obama inhabits has “slanting”  floors. 
As the scene unfolds, he is making breakfast “with coffee on the stove  and 
two eggs in the skillet.” That both Ayers and Obama live in apartments with  
slanting/sloping floors, use stew as a metaphor, and talk about cooking—both 
 even using the southern regionalism “skillet”—proves little, but promises 
more.  
Obama tells us that the buzzer downstairs did not work and that  visitors 
had to call from a pay phone at the corner gas station. There, “A black  
Doberman the size of a wolf paced through the night in vigilant patrol, its 
jaws 
 clamped around an empty beer bottle.”  
Fugitive Days opens at a pay phone. Ayers spent much  of his underground 
years waiting at pay phones. “Pay phone communication,” he  writes, “always 
paid for with rolls of quarters, was the main means for the  diaspora to be 
in contact.” He writes about pay phones with the loving detail  art critics 
reserve for Picassos. The vivid image of the Doberman almost  assuredly comes 
from his experience. Obama had no reason to use the corner pay  phone, if 
it even existed.  
Obama shared his apartment with a roommate. Upon watching  “white people 
from the better neighborhoods nearby walk their dogs down our  block to let 
the animals shit on our curbs,” the roommate would yell out to  them, “Scoop 
the poop, you bastards!.” He would do so “with impressive rage.”  Adds 
Obama, ““We’d laugh at the faces of both master and beast, grim and  
unapologetic as they hunkered down to do the deed.”  
This story raises any number of red flags. One is that no sane  New Yorker 
would walk his or her dog into the then drug-infested cusp of Spanish  
Harlem merely to let the dogs poop. This is likely an Ayers’ memory from  
elsewhere, transposed to Obama’s block. Another observation is that in a book 
as  
calculated as Dreams, it is, of course, the roommate who delivers the  
racially-tinged insult.  
A third is that both Ayers and Obama speak of “rage” the way  that Eskimos 
do of snow—in so many varieties, so often, that they feel the need  to 
qualify it, here as “impressive rage,” elsewhere in Dreams as  “suppressed rage”
 or “coil of rage,” and in Fugitive Days as  “justifiable rage,” “
uncontrollable rage,” “blind rage,” “and, of course, “Days  of Rage.”  
Another note of interest is that all of the distinctive words  in the last 
sentence above—“master,” “beast,” “grim,” “unapologetic,” and  “deed,” 
as well as the phrase “hunkered down”--appear in Fugitive Days.  
“I enjoyed such moments-but only in brief,” writes Obama of his  encounter 
with the dog walker. “If the talk began to wander, or cross the border  
into familiarity, I would soon find reason to excuse myself. I had grown too  
comfortable in my solitude, the safest place I knew.” These sentiments seem 
much  more natural for a terrorist in hiding—Ayers uses the word “safe” in 
all its  varieties and “solitude” as well--than for a famously gregarious 
guy with a  friendly roommate.  
“Like a tourist, I watched the range of human possibility on  display,” 
writes Obama of his New York experience, “trying to trace out my  future in 
the lives of the people I saw, looking for some opening through which  I could 
re-enter.” Re-enter what? This too seems more the reflection of a soon  to 
be ex-fugitive than that of a Columbia undergrad.  
On another occasion, the precociously weary and disillusioned  Obama tells 
of an experience at Columbia in which "two Marxists" scream insults  at each 
other over minor sectarian differences. "It was like a bad dream,"  thinks 
Obama. "The movement had died years ago, shattered into a thousand  
fragments." Similarly, when the young Obama pontificates about "angry young men 
 in 
Soweto or Detroit or the Mekong Delta," one hears the voice of someone who  
remembers the sixties and who understands the political futility of the 
decade  that followed, not a naïve twenty-year old just in from Hawaii.  
In the opening pages, Obama makes an exception to his New York  solitude 
for an elderly neighbor, a “stooped” gentleman who wore a “fedora.” In  
Fugitive Days, it was Ayers’ grandfather who was “stooped” and a  helpful 
stranger who wore a “fedora.” Obama tells the reader that the neighbor’s  “
silence” impressed him. “Silence” impressed Ayers as well. There are at least  
ten references to the word in Fugitive Days.  
One day, Obama’s roommate finds his neighbor dead, “crumpled up  on the 
third-floor landing, his eyes wide open, his limbs stiff and curled up  like a 
baby’s.” This observation strikingly parallels a death scene in  Fugitive 
Days, in which Ayers tells of watching his mother die, “eyes  half open, 
curled up and panting.” In both cases, the eyes are “open” and the  body is “
curled up.”  
After the neighbor’s death, the police let themselves into the  old man’s 
apartment, and for no good reason Obama finds himself in the  apartment. “
The loneliness of the scene affected me,” he writes. Loneliness as a  theme 
courses through Fugitive Days as well. Nearly forty years after  the fact, 
Ayers would still be haunted by “the feeling of total abandonment, of  utter 
loneliness” he experienced in a youthful dream.  
On the neighbor’s mantelpiece, Obama reports seeing  “the faded portrait 
of a woman with heavy eyebrows and a gentle smile.”  Obama is the rare writer 
to fix on eyebrows—heavy ones, bushy ones, wispy ones.  There are seven 
references to “eyebrows” in Dreams. There are six  references to eyebrows in 
Fugitive Days-- bushy ones, flaring ones,  arched ones, black ones.  
This eyebrow-fixation is unusual to the point of fetish. In my  seven books 
I have never described anyone’s eyebrows. In the lengthy excerpts  that I 
have gathered from a half dozen other contemporary political  memoirs—150,000 
words in total—there is no mention of “eyebrows” at all. Nor is  there 
anyone or anything “stooped,” “curled,” “crumpled,” “hunkered down,” or  
wearing a “fedora.”  
At the climax of Dreams’ opening sequence, Obama  receives a phone call. It 
comes from his Aunt Jane. “Listen, Barry, your father  is dead,” she tells 
him. Obama has a hard time understanding. “Can you hear me?”  she repeats. 
“I say, your father is dead.” The line is cut, and the conversation  ends 
abruptly.  
The opening sequence of Fugitive Days climaxes in  nearly identical 
fashion. This phone call comes from Bernadine Dohrn. “Diana is  dead,” says 
Dohrn. 
Ayers has a hard time understanding. “Diana is dead,” she  “repeats slowly.
” Ayers drops the line, and the conversation ends abruptly.  
At the conclusion of Dreams’ opening scene, after  learning of his father’
s death, a stunned Obama “sat down on the couch, smelling  eggs burn in the 
kitchen, staring at cracks in the plaster, trying to measure my  loss.”  
This passage features Obama’s signature rhetorical flourish, a  highly 
distinctive one--the triple parallel without a joining conjunction, often  
coming at the end of a sentence. There are scores of such examples throughout  
Dreams, perhaps hundreds:  
“…the mixed blood, the divided soul, the ghostly image of the  tragic 
mulatto trapped between two worlds.”  
“Her face powdered, her hips girdled, her thinning hair  bolstered, she 
would board the six-thirty bus to arrive at her downtown office  before anyone 
else.”  
“…his eyes were closed, his head leaning against the back of  his chair, 
his big wrinkled face like a carving stone.” 
As it happens, Ayers’ signature rhetorical flourish is the  triple parallel 
without a joining conjunction, often coming at the end of a  sentence. 
There are scores of such examples throughout Fugitive Days,  perhaps hundreds:  
“He inhabited an anarchic solitude—disconnected, smart,  obsessive.”  
“He continued, outlining a bottle, roughing in the bottom two  thirds with 
diagonal lines, blocking out the remaining third with  horizontals.”  
“We swarmed over and around that car, smashing windows,  slashing tires, 
trashing lights and fenders—it seemed the only conceivable  thing to do.”  
“…trees are shattered, doors ripped from their hinges,  shorelines 
rearranged.” 
One  parallel between the two memoirs intrigues above all others, and it 
involves a  subject about which Obama is surprisingly mute, namely romance. 
The one and only  relevant scene takes place in Chicago, a few years after 
Obama has left New  York. He is cutting peppers in preparing dinner for himself 
and his half-sister,  Auma, when he answers her question about the 
challenges of a mixed-race  relationship.  
“There was a woman in New York that I loved,” he tells Auma.  “She was 
white. She had dark hair, and specks of green in her eyes. Her voice  sounded 
like a wind chime.” Obama continues, “We saw each other for almost a  year. 
On the weekends, mostly. Sometimes in her apartment, sometimes in mine.  You 
know how you can fall into your own private world? Just two people, hidden  
and warm. Your own language. Your own customs. That’s how it was.”  
This nameless young woman had grown up on a sprawling estate in  the 
country. It was during a visit to the country home that Obama began to see  the 
distance between “our two worlds.” That distance widened irreparably back in  
New York when the woman questioned the response of a black audience to a 
play by  an angry black playwright. This led to a “big fight, right in front 
of the  theater,” one that undid the relationship. “I pushed her away,” 
Obama tells Auma  regretfully.  
An  interracial romance should have been grist for an aspiring writer’s 
mill,  especially a writer as obsessed with racial identity as Obama. That he 
dedicates  only a few paragraphs to this romance—and these in a 
flashback--raises questions  about its authenticity, not to mention Obama’s 
forthrightness.  
I am not the only one to notice this. One careful reader of the  book 
believes that Obama modeled his inamorata on Kay Adams, Michael Corleone’s  
wife 
in The Godfather. My single best correspondent, a Midwestern  contractor I 
refer to as “Joe the Builder,” makes a much more convincing case  for a more 
proximate source, the aforementioned Diana Oughton.  
Ayers was obsessed with Oughton who died in 1970 in a Greenwich  Village 
bomb factory blast. In Fugitive Days, he fixes on her in ways  that had to 
discomfort the woman that he eventually married, their fellow  traveler in the 
Weather Underground, Bernardine Dohrn.  
Physically, the woman of Obama’s memory with her “dark hair,  and specks 
of green in her eyes” evokes images of Oughton. As her FBI files  attest, 
Oughton had brown hair and green eyes. The two women shared similar  family 
backgrounds as well. In fact, they seemed to have grown up on the very  same 
estate.  
“The house was very old, her grandfather’s house,” Obama writes  of his 
girlfriend’s country home. “He had inherited it from his grandfather.”  
Writes Ayers of Oughton, “She had been to the manor born—the oldest of four  
sisters, she was raised in rural Illinois, her father a kind of gentleman 
farmer  from a previous age.”  
Ayers knew this manor from experience. According to a Time  Magazine 
article written soon after her death, Oughton “ brought Bill Ayers  and other 
radicals” to the family homestead in Dwight, Illinois. There, “ she  would talk 
politics with her father, defending the revolutionary's approach to  social 
ills.” The main house on the Oughton estate, a 20-room Victorian mansion,  
was built by Oughton’s father’s grandfather. Formally known as the John R.  
Oughton House, it was placed on the national historic register in 1980.  
The carriage house, in which Diana lived as a child, now serves  as a 
public library. It may have already seemed like one when Ayers visited, an  
impression that finds its way into Obama’s words as a library “ filled with old 
 
books and pictures of the famous people [the grandfather] had 
known--presidents,  diplomats, industrialists.”  
“It was autumn, beautiful, with woods all around us,” Obama  writes of his 
visit to his girlfriend’s country home, “and we paddled a canoe  across 
this round, icy lake full of small gold leaves that collected along the  shore.
” As this aerial photo will confirm, the Oughton estate (103 South Street)  
has a small lake and, despite forty years of encroaching development, is 
still  thickly ringed by trees.  
 
(http://maps.live.com/default.aspx?v=2&FORM=LMLTSN&cp=41.089128~-88.427399&style=h&lvl=16&tilt=-90&dir=0&alt=-1000&scene=35861847&phx=0&phy=0&phscl=1&e
ncType=1)  
(click on aerial image of portion of Oughton  estate or go to web page 
below)  

_http://maps.live.com/default.aspx?v=2&FORM=LMLTSN&cp=41.089128~-88.427399&s
tyle=h&lvl=16&tilt=-90&dir=0&alt=-1000&scene=35861847&phx=0&phy=0&phscl=1&en
cType=1  _ 
(http://maps.live.com/default.aspx?v=2&FORM=LMLTSN&cp=41.089128~-88.427399&style=h&lvl=16&tilt=-90&dir=0&alt=-1000&scene=35861847&phx=0&phy=0
&phscl=1&encType=1) 
“I realized that our two worlds, my friend’s and mine, were as  distant 
from each other as Kenya is from Germany,” says Obama of his girlfriend.  
Ayers expressed similar anxieties about Oughton. “ She knew other worlds and  
other languages and I knew nothing,” he writes, “she was sophisticated and I 
was  simple, she was untouchable.”  
Although Ayers had come from a family of means himself,  Oughton’s world 
intimidated him: “Diana's whole story was written on her face,  etched with 
every advantage, accented with privilege.” She awed him as she  attracted him. 
“I adored her the moment I saw her,” he writes, “but I knew she  was way 
beyond my reach--too mature, too smart, too experienced.”  
In projecting Ayers’ sentiments, Obama suggests more than a  metaphor when 
he describes how he and his girlfriend fell into their “own  private world . 
. . . Just two people, hidden and warm.” Ayers and Oughton  shared a 
literal “hidden world,” one that functioned, in Ayers’ words, as “a  parallel 
universe somewhere side by side with the open world.”  
Again, Obama seems to be channeling Ayers when he relates how  he and his 
friend developed their “own language,” their “own customs.” Writes  Ayers 
of Oughton and others in the underground, “We spoke in a language that was  
meaningless babble to outsiders.” He adds, “We invented words; we 
constructed  culture.”  
“Between the two of us,” Obama writes, “I was the one who knew  how to 
live as an outsider.” This was a sensation that the fugitive  Ayers--“nowhere 
a stranger but everywhere an outsider”--was fully capable of  imagining and 
imparting.  
In Dreams, Obama worries that his world would  inevitably yield to his 
girlfriend’s. “I knew that if we stayed together,” he  writes, “I’d eventually 
live in hers.” In Fugitive Days, Ayers  describes how seductive the world 
of the Oughtons could be: “ a perfect  marriage, a comfortable career in 
banking, say, or the law, two golden children,  the clubs, the country home.”  
Despite his obsession with Oughton, Ayers had other lovers, but  then 
again, so did Oughton. This troubled Ayers considerably. He does not say  
whether 
this led to their parting, but he was not with her at the end. When  Obama 
says, “I pushed her away,” are we really hearing Ayers? 
This split led one radical feminist in the underground, Jane  Alpert, to 
chastise Ayers publicly “ for his callous treatment and abandonment  of Diana 
Oughton before her death.” That death continues to haunt Ayers and  almost 
assuredly found an outlet in Dreams, written six years before  his own 
memoir.  
“Whenever I think back to what my friend said to me, that night  outside 
the theater, it somehow makes me ashamed,” an unsmiling Obama tells  Auma, 
while scraping the peppers into a pot. That shame is likely Ayers’ as are  the 
guilt, the girlfriend, the affair, the visit to the country home, the rowing 
 in the lake, the fateful phone call, the dead body, the dog poop, and 
probably  even the peppers. 

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