rick/eagle feather;

I just want to say thank you.  Thank-you for . . . listening
to God, for responding to God, for walking with God,  . . .
and for your always timely postings.  They reek of
encouragement, a sweet savor, it oozes out like oil,
refreshing all that they touch, they are the substance of
things hoped for . . .

I struggled for many years with an unknown malady.  Over 15
years ago I read an article in Parade magazine (a magazine
that comes in many of the Sunday newspapers here in the
States, perhaps elsewhere).  It gave a list of symptoms for
a very debilitating and insidious disease, one with no known
cure, aside from Gods' grace.  There was a list of 10 or 12
symptoms and the comment that if the reader had half the
symptoms they probably had the disease. I read thru the list
and realized I had all the symptoms.

I went to my family physician and had a lengthy discussion.
And then with every other physician I knew for the next 5
years.  Because there was no history of the disease in my
family it wasn't possible for me to have it.  I couldn't
even get *the* test done on myself, "no need".  I, it turned
out, was the first to recognize it. Since then two family
members have been diagnosed, one in each of the two
preceding generations, an uncle & a grand-uncle.  The uncle
has since died.  The grand-uncle, the less severe case of
the two, was treatable.  So for 10 years I never again
mentioned the thing again.  Suffered in silence. Angry at
the doctors, angry at the world, probably angry at God.
What a great martyr I was.  Auuagh. NOT!

I was in church, working (volunteer) in church, not a pew
warmer, but, running from God nonetheless.

Four years ago I stopped running from God and started
running to God.

"Come running, Come running,  Come running to the Mercy
Seat."

 Slowly at first but picking up steam.  2 years ago January
I was diagnosed as having "the disease".  Out of the blue.
My doctor did the test, and family members have been
diagnosed by this time (my uncle passes away the following
month), and now I know. Very anticlimactic. So much for the
martyr.  He was not a nice person, anyway.

I was still slowly pursuing God. In June of that year I ran
headlong into God.  He yanked me around, squeezed allot of
the gunk and crud out of my life and says: "Your a tough nut
to crack".  In September I have another big-time encounter
with God.  And since September 1997 I have pursued God with
*all* my being, to the point that He has said "Slow down,
your moving to fast." Paul says it best: "It's a marathon,
not a sprint." Paraphrased, of course.

Now the disease is under-control, in remission, under God's
control, ? something else.  I have been symptom free for
many months.  I still have regular check-ups, my doctor
tells me he's jealous now, because I'm doing better than he
is. hehehe

I give God all the glory, I thank Him every day for His love
for me.  His mercy for me.  I don't deserve it.  I can't
earn it.  But it is freely given by Him to me.

rick/eagle feather,  I have said all that to say this.  I
read your posts with great admiration and respect for you &
your God.  To read your testimony, to "see" God work in your
life and the lives of your family, is to know that I to can
survive, . . . no no . . . more than survive, I can
persevere, I can *live* in Christ Jesus.

Please, do not wait so long before the next post.  It is
selfish of me but I yearn to hear more of the Lord.

May God bless you from the depths of His abundance.

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